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Man presents to the ER with chest pain. Taken back to a tele room for eval, pt admits chest pain is not his primary concern, its his blood pressure. Pt's BP is Great! I asked the pt what kind of numbers he was getting at home. He said it was about the same. "But it is always much higher."

#566 (0) - Sep 23, 2009 07:18 AM by er_acer - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (92) - I dunno, seems legit. (4)

Over heard a nurse on the phone:"No sir, being drunk is not a medical emergency."

#565 (0) - Sep 23, 2009 07:11 AM by er_acer - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (107) - I dunno, seems legit. (6)

Guy brought in by ambulance -- some jackass called 911 because he was drunk in public. Triage nurse asks me to come out and "bless this guy" because he doesn't want evaluation, and is completely able to make said decision. I talk to him, and he says (regarding the ambulance trip) "this is a gross misuse of medical resources." I shook his hand and asked him if he wanted a job.

#548 (0) - Sep 20, 2009 01:18 AM by Anonymous - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (21) - I dunno, seems legit. (185)

got a call to alcohol withdrawal. Got there and the guy says he started drinking at 0900, but hasn't had any alcohol in the last hour and he's adamant he's in withdrawal because he "knows what it feels like." "I'm sorry sir, you can't be in withdrawal when you're still drunk!"

#539 (1) - Sep 18, 2009 05:27 PM by Anonymous - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (102) - I dunno, seems legit. (5)

I had some gang banger kid come in one night all messed up from runnin from the police in a stolen car. Evidently "no espeaka dah ingles" and came down with acute incarceritis when the cuffs were put on and went "unresponsive". So the police bring him in. The patient does not even respond to the worst titty twister i've ever seen when trying to wake him. So we strip him and get ready to put in a foley (catheter) and he miraculously wakes up, swats us away, and yells in perfect english, "JESUS! OKAY, I'LL GO TO JAIL!"

#534 (0) - Sep 17, 2009 09:58 PM by unit687 - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (149) - I dunno, seems legit. (14)

A 93 year old drunk woman needed a CT of her head after a fall. After I explained the test to her, she decided that she didn't need it and stripped out of her gown for good measure. For the next 10 minutes the nurse and I desperately tried to put her gown back on while she yelled and tried to climb out of the cart, jiggling all over the place. It was not a good jiggle.

#487 (0) - Sep 13, 2009 05:03 PM by Dansuuuur - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (112) - I dunno, seems legit. (16)

Got an EMS call at 0330 yesterday for a drunk man at home who was going to kill himself as soon as he could find a knife. I asked the medic if he wanted the engine. He said 'No, go back to bed, we're just going to show him where the f&^%in knife drawer is in the kitchen'

#484 (0) - Sep 13, 2009 01:20 AM by emtigger - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (73) - I dunno, seems legit. (34)

Had a drunk who had been beaten bad brought in by EMS on a spine board. Doc cleared him off the board, so the case nurse got some of us to help her roll him off. She said 'Hun, we're gonna turn you over' and he asked 'To who?'

#483 (0) - Sep 13, 2009 01:01 AM by Anonymous - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (21) - I dunno, seems legit. (232)

drunk, naked homeless man squatting on the floor with explosive diarrhea. then he asks for a shower, food and new clothes.. we just had the cleaners throw his clothes in the washer for him. this isn't a mission, get out.

#448 (1) - Sep 10, 2009 08:07 PM by Anonymous - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (205) - I dunno, seems legit. (81)

My favourite was THE OAR....a guy had the small end that normally goes in your hand (not your ass), in his ass, and the paddle end sticking out about 2 metres. The transported him in from the Aussie bush with it still in his ass hole because it wouldn't come out. It had been in there for 24 hrs...needless to say be went to theatre. He didn't even have an excuse...

#404 (0) - Sep 8, 2009 09:28 AM by Anonymous - Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (60) - I dunno, seems legit. (11)


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