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Maybe apocryphal, but guy in the ER with his boyfriend--had inserted a live goldfish in his butt...trying to withdraw it, the scales locked it in place. The attending walked around the table, bent for a closer look and said "Son, you gotta learn to chew your food better."

#500 (0) - Sep 14, 2009 07:55 PM by NDeeZ - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (136) - I dunno, seems legit. (8)

Had to hold down a large, grown man to put an IV in today. He was covered in tatoos but claimed to be afraid of needles. right...

#475 (0) - Sep 12, 2009 08:00 PM by freckleface - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (142) - I dunno, seems legit. (44)

I had a 14yo come into the ER, we figured out she had Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) but didn't know from what. She didn't like that i had to cut into an artery for blood and she really didn't like it when I told her I had to check for a tampon. I do what I need to do and no tampon. (never found the reason she got TSS) she leaves the ER to go to ICU after a very close call, she looks at me and says "Are you going to be my nurse?" I tell her "no honey, I work down here" . She says "good, bitch" and they roll her away.

#462 (0) - Sep 11, 2009 09:45 PM by itsmyjob - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (180) - I dunno, seems legit. (48)

Actually had a patient tell me today she needed two percocet to go so she could pay for her cab ride home.

#450 (0) - Sep 10, 2009 08:12 PM by Anonymous - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (281) - I dunno, seems legit. (36)

I was sitting with a psych patient waiting for an ambulance to take him to a mental health facility. I saw an ambulance come and take someone else, but they then quickly brought him back. When they found one of the nurses, they said that the patient "went all psycho on us" and wouldn't get in the truck. We then informed them that they tried to take the wrong patient, and the real one was with me!

#442 (0) - Sep 9, 2009 10:56 PM by freckleface - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (121) - I dunno, seems legit. (13)

So we get a call at dispatch about a patient requesting police and paramedics at a local bar. He's in a bathroom stall, completely panicked, as the bar is full of people and he just got into a fight in the bathroom. he claims he's not injured. so what's the problem? it seems that during the fight the other guy stole his pants so he wanted paramedics to get him out of there on a stretcher. he was escorted out by bouncers before police arrived.

#440 (1) - Sep 9, 2009 09:02 PM by Anonymous - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (118) - I dunno, seems legit. (6)

The other day, our computerized medical charting system displayed one of the waiting room patient's chief complaint as "sewing machine broke at 1500". Turns out her sewing machine broke at earlier that day and she has been anxious ever since.

#378 (0) - Sep 6, 2009 08:07 PM by rescue1 - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (66) - I dunno, seems legit. (3)

So last month we had a guy come in with a roofing nail stuck in his left hand. he said he did it while renovating his house. sounds reasonable.. last week he comes in with the same thing. This was kind of strange so myself and another doctor called local hospital and found out he has had the same injury 8 times in the past 6 months. why would anyone do this? that's right, he wanted narcotics. the lengths people go to to get high.

#361 (0) - Sep 4, 2009 01:27 PM by Anonymous - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (111) - I dunno, seems legit. (6)

11month old female, presented with orange coated tongue, just eaten orange biscuit, otherwise asymptomatic.

#138 (0) - Jul 8, 2009 04:44 PM by Ian - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (56) - I dunno, seems legit. (0)

42 year old male presents to the ER with eyes swollen shut, bruising all over body, complaining of head, neck, chest, abdo and pelvic pain. I ask "So what happened to you?" "I fell down... a lot.... on a baseball bat"

#137 (0) - Jul 8, 2009 04:43 PM by Ian - That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (20) - I dunno, seems legit. (97)


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