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One evening while doing registration, I had an officer bring in an inmate. His complaint was rectal bleeding. After he sat down I had to go in back to laugh. Must have dropped the soap.

#602 (3) - Oct 2, 2009 10:45 PM by Anonymous - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (31) - I dunno, seems legit. (326)

Gentleman comes into ER with 3y/o child w/ c/o fever. i go into the room to do a rectal temp. father pulls down the pull-up and i go to it. the child screams "no, not in the butt!!" the father replies " yeah, you and your mother both" ...

#596 (0) - Oct 1, 2009 09:19 AM by RFCEMSI - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (105) - I dunno, seems legit. (89)

This happened last winter but we still laugh about it. Our Paramedics get called out to a tobogganing hill for a fall injury. Seems a women there with her child fell down the entire 100 ft hill. You're thinking how is it possible to fall down such a hill without friction stopping you? She was 5 foot 1 and 260lbs. A perfect sphere.

#587 (0) - Sep 29, 2009 09:01 PM by Anonymous - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (95) - I dunno, seems legit. (11)

Elderly female comes to ED via Ambulance with c/o chest pain. When we took her bra off of the x-ray she said she felt much better. She put her much smaller roommates bra on that morning!

#576 (0) - Sep 26, 2009 04:03 PM by Anon - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (124) - I dunno, seems legit. (14)

Was cleaning up after a pt received 20 stitches to his leg. I asked what happened. He said he got in a car wreck and noticed the girl in the other car was screaming. So ran to the car and kicked out the window to get her out. She then opened the car door to show that she was not trapped but had broken her arm.

#520 (0) - Sep 16, 2009 03:10 PM by freckleface - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (51) - I dunno, seems legit. (258)

I was volunteering in the ED's registration desk. If you've ever been there, you get to see the array of people that come in. A man filled out the registration card. His chief complaint? "My dick itches and my balls hurt". At least he was honest.

#518 (0) - Sep 16, 2009 12:06 PM by ljw8993 - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (27) - I dunno, seems legit. (131)

Had a male nurse go into a curtained room with a female tech to get a cath urine from an elderly demented lady. With curtain pulled he explains he needs a cath urine and patient agrees to the procedure. You hear him say "ok we are going to clean you up down here" and proceeded to use the betadyn when she yells "are you licking me!"

#504 (0) - Sep 14, 2009 10:29 PM by steelercat - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (77) - I dunno, seems legit. (38)

Quote from my patient " my baby daddys other baby mamma bit my ear off"

#503 (0) - Sep 14, 2009 09:43 PM by Burned out - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (167) - I dunno, seems legit. (18)

I was at the nurses station about a month ago filling out papers when a lady and her husband come up to the counter. The man goes and sits and the lady asks the nurse quietly "Can I put DNR on here and not worry about coming back?" The nurse giggles and says sorry, no, at which the lady smiles and says "Oh c'mon, they let us do it at the animal hospital!"

#492 (0) - Sep 14, 2009 12:02 AM by Lu - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (46) - I dunno, seems legit. (94)

Elderly gentleman brought from SNF with AMS. When in the ED, the resident asks, "where are we right now." Patient pulled out his penis and began to urinate. He looked her right in the eye and said, "in a fucking coffee grinder, bitch!"

#485 (0) - Sep 13, 2009 02:38 AM by DocJoe - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (94) - I dunno, seems legit. (40)


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