Airplane vs. Nose

The encode read “facial lac: airplane v. nose.”

Turns out, the local remote control airplane enthusiasts were out in force today. The “Heads up!” call came too late, and a gasoline-powered miniature airplane went propeller first into my patient’s face, severing – yes, severing – his nose.

Man checks in after

Man checks in after getting drunk, climbing on top of his RV and promptly falling off, landing directly on his skull. A skull fracture and epidural brain bleed later, he earns himself an OR visit.

Grossly overweight w

Grossly overweight woman comes into our ER after falling off her bike. I wondered what such a whale was doing on a bike. She was going to pick up her pizza as she was too cheap to pay for delivery.

"he was riding the

“he was riding the dolphin when he fell” (patient was a 4 year old boy playing on an ornamental dolphin at a playground)

Male PT presented at

Male PT presented at triage with a 8 inch blade still stuck in his foot. Seems he was preparing dinner when he hit his funny bone causing him to drop the knife on to his foot.

Here's one that mad

Here’s one that made the local news. We get called to a crash on the east side of town. PT was on cell phone while driving and crashed into a cellular store. He was on an iphone and plowed right into the iphone display, among other things.

14yo male brought in

14yo male brought in by EMS accompanied by his parents cc: penis laceration. Story is he was in the shower and he stuck his man stick in a shampoo bottle and it got stuck. In a panic he ran downstairs and got a kitchen knife to try to cut the bottle off. As if this poor kids night couldnt get any worse, his hand slipped and he cut himself pretty good. He still had the bottle on when he came in. I’m sure it was really awkard around the breakfast table the next morning.

I was paged out to a

I was paged out to a college campus, for a 20 year old female who had “lost her super tampon”. Patient stated she had been sick, and sleeping a lot, and forgot if she took it out (it had been in for 36+hours), and asked us to look for it. We are a double male crew, and no interest in spelunking. Ugh!