I need to get into my house!

A 41 year old man was brought in by ambulance to the Emergency Department. While heavily intoxicated at home he had lashed out or flailed his arm and somehow penetrated his forearm on a long blunt door handle, which was still lodged in his upper limb (the ambos removed the handle from the door rather than risk taking it out).

Eventually the handle was removed, the wound cleaned and sutured and he was discharged. But before leaving he slurred ‘Give that back I need to get into me house’.

Give me a drink!

Pt admitted s/p kick to the head while intoxicated which turned result in a carotid artery dissection. He was admitted for BP monitoring (and other things) and told not to drink caffeine. Before discharge he drinks a mt dew and starts having a panic attack (w/out xanax b/c docs took it away), BP was fine and he wanted to leave so we d/c’d. Gma calls back an hour later, after driving 45 minutes home, cause he’s vomiting all over and having a panic attack. Back to the ER

2 am, dispatched by

2 am, dispatched by 911 to possible code blue. Upon arrival, find two very inebriated frequent flyers duking it out. PD is separating them. Turns out that pt passed out, his buddy was too drunk to tell the difference, so he assumes his friend is in full arrest, calls 911 and starts CPR. Passed out guy comes around while his buddy is lip locked onto his face and that’s when the swinging commenced. PD explains the situation to both parties and when we left, they were hugging each other.

Patient is admitted

Patient is admitted after drinking antifreeze. Went through dialysis and nearly died, is now better and transferred to our hospital so she can get help to stop drinking. Perhaps it would work better if she wasn’t drinking from the hand sanitizing gel dispensers around the wards and down in the reception area.

3am: my partner and

3am: my partner and I were dispatched to a 30yo m c/o dyspnea. We respond to find pt outside waving us down. He told me that he had turkey stuck in his throat and needed to be seen in the ER to fox the problem. Pt strong odor of ETOH, ataxic, and had this ridiculously goofy (and kind of creepy) grin on his face. Took him to the ER. 4am: dispatched to the end of a bridge for teen seizing. We get there and find the same guy called 911 for a ride back home… Left him there, PD aware of situation.

A few years ago, I n

A few years ago, I noticed a truck that had flipped over on the highway as I was heading to work. I knew that fate would intervene that night. They brought this guy up to the floor a few hours later, three sheets to the wind and naked except for a pair of satin boxer shorts. The shorts were printed with lovely red hearts. He made a pass at me as I was handing him his urinal. His wife asked me later if he had come in wearing his wedding ring. Guess the answer to that question.

We had a frequent fl

We had a frequent flyer drunk who was brought in by her husband when he just couldn’t take her shenanigans anymore. This time she said she took a handful of Tylenol. As the tests were being run, I proceed to hand her a cup of charcoal (used to treat OD) to drink, when she turns to me making a face and says “shit, can’t you at least put some sugar in it, this is the worst cup of coffee I have ever had” I had to hold back the laughs even though the whole nurse’s station was in cracking up.

In ED, helping take

In ED, helping take off a drunk’s boots. He was obviosuly homeless and reeked. As I slipped his boot off, three of his toes came off with it.