ERtards: Documenting the retards that visit the emergency room.

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- Concept : This is a place for you to vent about your experiences. There are no taboo subjects, so feel free to vent as we know there are a lot of goobers out there. Remember, there are plenty of medical professionals that are total tards too. So this is open to patients as well as staff members.
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Category: Complete_Idiots

RN Nurse told me of a guy brought in by Ambulance. Seems he had severe burns to his thighs and backside but refused to give info on how it happened. His girlfriend was finally consulted and she said he liked to sit on the toilet and light m-80's then throw them in the pot and jump off. Guess he never heard of a short fuse.

#1332 (0) - Mar 7, 2010 09:43 AM by Dunge - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (59) - I dunno, seems legit. (0)

While in the ER, I heard an ambulance call to give report on a patient so I picked up the radio to get report. The paramedic said that he's transporting a 23 year old male that called 911 because he, "just wasn't feeling right." His chief complaint happened after the patient had smoked a bag of marijuana and then followed that by smoking a rock of crack... Any wonder why he "just wasn't feeling right?"

#1327 (0) - Mar 5, 2010 02:01 AM by ER RN - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (57) - I dunno, seems legit. (4)

18 year old came into the ER, pumping blood out of an artery in her hand while chopping vegetables for her bf's valentine's day dinner. "Can't you just put a few stitches in it? I need to go home, he's going to make love to me tonight and I don't want to miss it. I didn't pass out, I just closed my eyes for a few minutes. I'll come back tomorrow, I promise."

#1326 (1) - Mar 4, 2010 09:34 PM by funbags, md - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (52) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

A patient came in complaining of white vaginal discharge that only happens after she's done having sex with her boyfriend. When asked if her boyfriend ever wears condoms, she shook her head no.

#1321 (1) - Mar 3, 2010 05:40 PM by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (89) - I dunno, seems legit. (1)

25 yr old lad comes in early hours of Sunday with panic attack and freaked out after taking a couple of E tabs. we ask if he suffers from anxiety normally to which the idiot replies "no, only when i take ecstacy"

#1300 (0) - Feb 21, 2010 01:08 PM by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (79) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

Had a man call 911 because someone broke into his home covered his turkey with Chloroform trying to poison him. He said he could feel his mouth burning and wanted us to smell his breath to see if the poison has gone away yet.

#1295 (0) - Feb 21, 2010 01:01 PM by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (68) - I dunno, seems legit. (5)

Had a 16 year old female come in with sudden onset severe LLQ pain which concerned me for ovarian torsion. Spoke with mom and dad and explained that I needed to do a pelvic exam. The girl, having no idea what I was talking about, looked blankly at her mom, who then said very matter-of-factly, "honey, the doctor needs to do a 'twinkie poke and scrape' like mommy has to do every year." This is how they explained a pelvic exam.... to a 16 year old.

#1294 (0) - Feb 21, 2010 01:01 PM by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (98) - I dunno, seems legit. (4)

I work in a doctors's office and one pt called complaining of cold symptoms, fever of 99 and was afraid to get "ammonia" again

#1293 (0) - Feb 21, 2010 01:00 PM by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (70) - I dunno, seems legit. (6)

had a 18 y/o female come in for URI symptoms for one day, no fever, (priority one, i know)...told her it was likely viral and sent her home...came back 5 hours later because "I wasn't better yet"

#1292 (0) - Feb 21, 2010 12:59 PM by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (69) - I dunno, seems legit. (4)

Asked an 11 yo child if she had diarrhea. Child looked at me blank, then looked at the mom and said "What does she mean?" Mom responded - "You know, the shits".

#1290 (0) - Feb 21, 2010 12:58 PM by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (38) - I dunno, seems legit. (44)

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