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Category: Sex

Female calls the ER at about 0600 with a question. She said that she and her boyfriend had sex and now they could not find the condom. She stated that they had "looked everywhere" and wanted to know if she should come to the ER or "wait to pee it out." After resisting the urge to tell her that if she "peed" it out she had more iasues than we could help her with, I advised her to call her PCP office when they opened and assured her she would be OK until then.

#1519 (0) - Jul 21, 2010 01:49 PM by errn53 - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (43) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

911 dispatch to a syncope call, when my female partner and I get to the door she is the only one allowed in. After about 5 minutes she exits the apartment laughing with the AMA signed. It turns out the couple were enjoying a little oral sex when he got light headed and passed out. I suggested we go back and tell him to marry her.

#1502 (0) - Jul 7, 2010 02:49 PM by Anonymous - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (45) - I dunno, seems legit. (48)

A 55 yo patient with torsion of ovary - she came in twice, each time with a different ovary. So she says - doc, can a really big penis cause this? I hafta stop having sex so I don't come to the hospital so often!

#1484 (0) - Jun 24, 2010 10:19 PM by Itamar - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (64) - I dunno, seems legit. (23)

My unit arrives on scene, and I walk into the room to find a 70something year old male who was sounding with a toothbrush. (For those of you not in the know, sounding is the insertion of objects into the urethra for sexual pleasure.) Our patient inserted the toothbrush bristle end first (I have no idea how) and could not get it back out. We had to transport to the local ER, and explain to the staff how the he got a toothbrush stuck in his penis.

#1446 (0) - Jun 6, 2010 12:08 AM by Anonymous - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (73) - I dunno, seems legit. (14)

20YO F presented to Emerg Gyn Clinic. Letter from GP stated lacerations to the vagina. Cause- her boyfriend -also present at visit had decided to use a crisp (potato chips) packet as they had no condoms.

#1440 (0) - May 30, 2010 07:16 AM by Notimpresses - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (92) - I dunno, seems legit. (12)

Young lad came in with his girlfriend, wanted us to check if she was a virgin! Didn't make it past triage.

#1432 (0) - May 6, 2010 01:39 PM by Drmal - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (108) - I dunno, seems legit. (3)

chest pain in the middle of the night - Doc: "so did it wake you up from sleeep?" Pt: "No" (wife blushing) Doc: "OK so you were awake." Pt: "Yes". Doc: "SO how long did it go on for?" Pt: "Well, we stopped as soon as I got the chest pain, but normally I can go alot longer.."

#1389 (0) - Mar 23, 2010 05:19 PM by Anonymous - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (60) - I dunno, seems legit. (50)

Making my rounds through ER one night I discover that there is a guy in trauma who came in via ambulance because he has a cock ring with a very firm grip on his genitalia. So firm that he has passed out from lack of oxygen. Sounds tragic. Not! This is the second time he has been to the ER for this "ailment".

#1383 (0) - Mar 22, 2010 05:49 AM by Anonymous - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (129) - I dunno, seems legit. (13)

Had a middle aged guy come in the other night who tried to use a zip tie as a penis ring. unfortunately he wasn't able to get it off after he was done...and neither was his mommy who accompanied him to the ER.

#1377 (0) - Mar 17, 2010 05:43 PM by DenDoc - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (115) - I dunno, seems legit. (8)

30 year old guy comes in with a broken finger after gettin into a fight and punching a wall. he then goes on to say that he's got a high tolerence to pain. I then proceed to put an IVC in to which he starts crying hystercially saying that the prick hurt!

#1369 (0) - Mar 13, 2010 05:22 PM by Anonymous - Sex - Get back to the waiting room (81) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)


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