I'm a paramedic in
I’m a paramedic in the midwest. About five years ago I encountered a patient that stated “aliens injected my left labia with radioactive material..can you look to see where its oozing from?” my response: “no Im not qualified, lets wait till we get to the ER, one of the nurses will assist you with that there”
"My landlord put ma
“My landlord put magnets in my floor and my tits are sagging” 80 year old white female
Pt presents with lar
Pt presents with large facial laceration. “I held my poodle up to the mirror and I growled at him!”
typed in by the rece
typed in by the receptionist “nausea and vomiting after eating yellow vaginal discharge” She forgot to put the comma between eating and yellow!
"My boyfriend was c
“My boyfriend was choking so I gave him the Hieneken manuver”
"I feel like I'm c
“I feel like I’m choking”. What did you ingest last? “my crack pipe broke and I swallowed some of the glass”.
A recent chief compl
A recent chief complaint “There are little people under my house digging tunnels and infiltrating my internet. I was abducted by 2 oreo’s and some salsa dip.” He was later admitted for a psych assessment.
"I was sitting on a
“I was sitting on a park bench, minding my own business, when a bug done jumped up and bit me in the vagina…”