Let the Lord heal your baby
We keep our psych patients in the hallways to keep a close eye on them. Yesterday, as one psych’s wrist lacerations were being stapled, she was wailing and crying. Another psych patient was trying to calm her by saying “Let the Lord heal your baby” and “Amen, I can feel the power“. We all about died laughing…
Help me, I am homeless
A homeless guy actually came to the ER one early spring night because he was living on the beach on Davis Island. I told him that is great, and I wish I could live on the beach like him: no utilities, no stuff, nice climate, worst thing you worry about is rain and there is shelter nearby. He became angry of course, until I gave him what he really wanted: a meal box, a Percocet, and prescription refills. Funny how that combination cures all things. How is your home situation my emergency?
Pot Head!
Got called to a local college for a 19/M c/o hallucinations and vomiting. Got there, story goes, “I walked through a cloud of pot smoke last night and now I’m seeing black cats and it made me puke.”….Me: Um..ok….and????? Someone got a nice psych consult at the ER.
my 10 year old son h
my 10 year old son had been complaining about pain in his right shoulder area. i made an appointment, and when we finally got into the doctor’s room, the doctor asked my son what was wrong.
my son put his right arm behind his back, wrenched it up until his hand was at his neck, and said “it hurts when i do this”
kudos to my doctor who managed to keep a perfectly straight face as he replied “then don’t do that”.
my son said “okay” and we left, me embarrassed as hell.
Pt presents with lac
Pt presents with lacerations and abrasions to his hands, knees and ankles. Turns out he was riding his bike while watching a rowing race next to him, with a beer in one hand and decided to clap while going down a hill. What upset him the most was he lost the contents of his beer.
911 dispatch to sync
911 dispatch to syncope. Upon arrival a young couple tells us that they had been smoking marijuana for the first time, when he got light headed, and had to sit down.
I thought that was the point. AMA form signed.
An elderly man has r
An elderly man has rectal bleeding and calls his primary to schedule an appt. He doesn’t tell them he’s bleeding profusely. They schedule him for an appt in a month. He decides this is too long of a wait. What do you do with bleeding? Cauterize it. So he jams his wife’s curling iron in his ass and plugs it in. Cooks his innards and passes out on the floor. EMS has to breakdown the door to get to him. Surgery pulled the curling iron out performed an AP resection and the guy lived.