Gentleman comes into
Gentleman comes into ER with 3y/o child w/ c/o fever. i go into the room to do a rectal temp. father pulls down the pull-up and i go to it. the child screams “no, not in the butt!!” the father replies ” yeah, you and your mother both” …
This happened last w
This happened last winter but we still laugh about it. Our Paramedics get called out to a tobogganing hill for a fall injury. Seems a women there with her child fell down the entire 100 ft hill. You’re thinking how is it possible to fall down such a hill without friction stopping you? She was 5 foot 1 and 260lbs. A perfect sphere.
Elderly female comes
Elderly female comes to ED via Ambulance with c/o chest pain. When we took her bra off of the x-ray she said she felt much better. She put her much smaller roommates bra on that morning!
I was volunteering i
I was volunteering in the ED’s registration desk. If you’ve ever been there, you get to see the array of people that come in. A man filled out the registration card. His chief complaint? “My dick itches and my balls hurt”. At least he was honest.
Was cleaning up afte
Was cleaning up after a pt received 20 stitches to his leg. I asked what happened. He said he got in a car wreck and noticed the girl in the other car was screaming. So ran to the car and kicked out the window to get her out. She then opened the car door to show that she was not trapped but had broken her arm.
I was at the nurses
I was at the nurses station about a month ago filling out papers when a lady and her husband come up to the counter. The man goes and sits and the lady asks the nurse quietly “Can I put DNR on here and not worry about coming back?” The nurse giggles and says sorry, no, at which the lady smiles and says “Oh c’mon, they let us do it at the animal hospital!”
Quote from my patien
Quote from my patient " my baby daddys other baby mamma bit my ear off"
Had a male nurse go
Had a male nurse go into a curtained room with a female tech to get a cath urine from an elderly demented lady. With curtain pulled he explains he needs a cath urine and patient agrees to the procedure. You hear him say “ok we are going to clean you up down here” and proceeded to use the betadyn when she yells “are you licking me!”