The Caravan Clan

EMT arrives on scene after a call for a 60-year-old patient with a stomach ache. EMT noted the family followed the ambulance in their SUV on way to hospital. Really? You couldn’t take him on your own?

Post-Op Rage

Received call from post-op patient enraged stating that her doctor was fired and she needed help. After calming her down she told me she was mad because apparently no one told her that she would experience pain after her surgery.

Bowel Blues

We had a patient come in with brutal abdominal pain. Turns out the guy swallowed a condom filled with cocaine which burst after several days trying to make it through his bowels. We ended up having to remove part of his intestines and the police were called to deal with the guy after release.

That Time of the Month

A 19 y/o female patient came in with multiple complaints, one of them being vaginal bleeding. This is the exchange that followed:

Me: “When did it start?”
Her: “Like, three days ago.”
Me: “When was your last period?” Her: “Umm, I dun know… about a month ago…”
Me: “OK…(pause) Do you think it could be that?”
Her: “Oh, ya…maybe…”

Watch that Zipper

After the first snowfall of the year, a woman brings in her 4-year-old daughter because the zipper is caught on her snowsuit and she couldn’t get her out.