Afraid of Obama
I had a PT’s family member tell me that she didn’t want her husband to be an organ donor because she was “afraid of Obama.” Because the president is going to start killing people for their kidneys I guess.
Lava Lamp
PT comes in after a night out with the boys. He states that he had a small, battery-operated lava lamp inserted into his rectum. Sent him to OR for removal.
Pack a Day
Dispatched to a difficulty breathing call. Arrive on scene and find male patient in no distress. En route to the hospital we find out that he has emphysema and bronchitis. Also find out that he continues to smoke 3 packs a day…
Nothin’ On My Skin
Woman comes to the ER and tox screen comes back positive for benzos, opiates and pot. When offered a nicotine patch (since she can’t go out to smoke), she refused, stating: “I don’t want nothin’ on my skin that gonna harm me!”
Become a Vegan and Grow a Beard
Got a call for a behavioral patient last night. Arrived on scene and was told (in fearful tones) by the father that his son was becoming a terrorist. How did he know this? Because his son had become a vegan and grown a beard. Yes, apparently these are signs of a terrorist-in-training. The kid was just annoyed to be woken up, and the father nearly attacked us, claiming that we were trying to pin responsibility for all those people his son would (no doubt) kill on the family.