Browsing articles in "Complete Idiots"

Allergic to Tylenol

“I’m allergic to Tylenol, but I can take Percocet.”

Contraceptive Jelly

EMS called by police who picked up a prostitute who complained of a “vaginal pain” after a night of work. EMS arrived on scene and did quick assessment. Woman said she was told by her “co-workers” to use contraceptive jelly and she said she chose “Smucker’s” and didn’t know if it was working.

Morphine Doesn’t Help

“Morphine doesn’t help my pain…but that pain medicine that starts with “D” always helps…”

Afraid of Obama

I had a PT’s family member tell me that she didn’t want her husband to be an organ donor because she was “afraid of Obama.” Because the president is going to start killing people for their kidneys I guess.

Lava Lamp

PT comes in after a night out with the boys. He states that he had a small, battery-operated lava lamp inserted into his rectum. Sent him to OR for removal.