Caustic Hemorrhoids

We went to a call at 2am for a 21-year-old female with hemorrhoids stating that she “can’t walk” due to pain. I ask the patient what she’s be treating her hemorrhoids with and she responds “Tiger Balm” which is a somewhat caustic topical that is NOT designed for hemorrhoids. We bring her to the ER and the triage nurse summed up our response by saying, “Oh my god…WHY!!??”

Late Night Call

Called to the local inpatient addiction/rehab “hospital” to transport someone who can’t seem to stay awake, problem is the call came in at 0300 hrs.

Leave a Record

A couple comes in to Peds ER with their 4 mo baby. Their reasoning was they thought the baby formula looked and smelled funny. They didn’t feed the baby the formula and they “just wanted to leave a record” of the incident in case something happened.

Pack the Suitcase

Male brought in his grandfather who was not breathing and unresponsive.

Nurse: “So when did you notice your grandfather wasn’t breathing?”

Patient: “About 30 minutes ago.”

Nurse: “Why did you drive him in instead of calling 911?”

Patient: “I didn’t want to wait for an ambulance.”

Nurse: “OK…When did you pack the suitcase?”

Patient: “While my truck was warming up.”

Change the Order

Doctor discharged patient with prescription of four Vicodin pills. The guy thought he could pull one over on the pharmacist so he decided to change the order to 40 pills, not stopping to think that we might keep the carbon copy for our records. The pharmacy calls and asks how much the doctor REALLY prescribed. Needless to say, the cops were called and he went to the local jail for the night.