Browsing articles in "Complete Idiots"

In and Out Again

Chief complaint at triage: “A fly flew in my ear and then flew out again.”


Possible Positive Test

Patient came in asking for us to test her for “swine flu” because her sister’s boyfriend had a possible positive test a few years back.

Start the Line

Dispatched to local nursing home for “patient needing to go to the ER.” Upon arrival, facility’s nurse says patient needs to go to ER, the only level I trauma center in the area, for an IV. Just to start the line-no drugs pushed, not even saline, no other problems, just an IV placement.

Caustic Hemorrhoids

We went to a call at 2am for a 21-year-old female with hemorrhoids stating that she “can’t walk” due to pain. I ask the patient what she’s be treating her hemorrhoids with and she responds “Tiger Balm” which is a somewhat caustic topical that is NOT designed for hemorrhoids. We bring her to the ER and the triage nurse summed up our response by saying, “Oh my god…WHY!!??”

Late Night Call

Called to the local inpatient addiction/rehab “hospital” to transport someone who can’t seem to stay awake, problem is the call came in at 0300 hrs.