Browsing articles in "Complete Idiots"

Patch of Pimples

A mother brought her teen daughter to a tertiary level hospital Emergency Department because the daughter had a patch of pimples on her cheek and had a party to go to that night. The mother wanted us to do something about the pimples. Luckily, the busy waiting room made her go away.

Drain Pain in the Rear

Had to remove a drain snake that was used in an attempt to retrieve the cap of a spray paint can from patient’s rectum. The paint can came out, but the lid stayed put. Being geniuses, they figured they could puncture the lid with the drain snake. They did manage to puncture the cap, along with perforating patient’s bowels. When he finally came into the the ED, he had a tail, as they had to cut the rest of the 25′ of the drain snake off. Almost died of Peritonitis.

Scared to Death

A frantic mother brings in her 23-year-old daughter with chest pain and anxiety. The daughter was at the movie theater watching a horror flick and a scene scared her. The mother said, “I don’t want my daughter to be scared to death.”

Missed Bowel Movement

One time we had a patient come to the ER at 10am on a weekend because he missed his 9am bowel movement.

Bleach to the Feet

Male patient came in to ER with c/c of chemical burns on feet. Turns out he had athletes foot and tried to get rid of it by soaking his feet in bleach.