Scared to Death
A frantic mother brings in her 23-year-old daughter with chest pain and anxiety. The daughter was at the movie theater watching a horror flick and a scene scared her. The mother said, “I don’t want my daughter to be scared to death.”
Missed Bowel Movement
One time we had a patient come to the ER at 10am on a weekend because he missed his 9am bowel movement.
Bleach to the Feet
Male patient came in to ER with c/c of chemical burns on feet. Turns out he had athletes foot and tried to get rid of it by soaking his feet in bleach.
A Day Late
Female patient in early 20′s complaining of being “more emotional in the past couple days” and that her period is “a day late” without any other signs. After completing assessment and having her admitted, patient suddenly says, “Can I have a tampon, my period just started.” Alrighty then, so we discharged her shortly after!
Losing a Bet to Friends
Get called for a guy who drank about a gallon of windshield washing fluid after losing a bet to his friends. His chief complaint was “an intensely upset stomach” and was wondering if he was going be fine. I told him, “Probably, but you’re going to get your stomach pumped which is going to make you sorry for drinking that fluid.” He looked pretty frightened after that!