Special Brownies

A diabetic woman in her 80′s with altered mental status is admitted and we run tests. We realize she was just stoned and the woman and her whole family react angrily.

Explanation: She sneaks sweets whenever she can, so she ate some brownies she’d found in the fridge and didn’t want to admit it. Obviously, they were pot brownies.

Got da Sugars!

EMS respond for a diabetic call, arrived to be met at the door by a hysterical woman shouting, “Yous gotsta hurry! My honey’s got da sugars!”

Priorities, Priorities, Priorities

When the fire alarm sounds at 2 in the morning, it’s nice to know that patients have their priorities straight when several of them ask about going to the bathroom instead of if we can help them out.

It Hurts When I Do This

My 10-year-old son had been complaining about pain in his right shoulder area. I made an appointment and when we finally got into the doctor’s room the doctor asked my son what was wrong.

My son put his right arm behind his back, wrenched it up until his hand was at his neck and said, “It hurts when I do this!”

Kudos to my doctor who managed to keep a perfectly straight face as he replied, “Then don’t do that.”

My son said “okay” and we left, me embarrassed as hell.

Little Blue Pill

Patient comes in with his girlfriend to triage; presents an empty blister pack of pills to RN.

He state, “I just bought my car used and my girlfriend found these under the seat. She won’t believe that I didn’t take them, so can you tell her that I didn’t take them and do the tests to show her?”

We advised patient’s girlfriend that Viagra does not make you “high” and that there is no lab test available to prove that he took them.

Nothing was settled and patient left arguing with girlfriend.