Y’all Are Jealous
Psych pt states, “I am shooting babies out of my ass and y’all are jealous.”
Cutting Onions
EMS gets called to home of 35-year-old male with “burning eyes” after cooking. Once we arrive he says he is feeling better and said it started when he was cutting onions. Apparently he didn’t know that onions caused irritation to the eyes.
Crocheted by Granny
Ambulance arrived to ER with 60-something year old female patient that was in a minor car accident. In order to remove the C-collar, I had to check for a spinal injury. As we roll the patient over I notice she is wearing a thong. While that itself is not that strange, the fact that it was crocheted made it a little special.
Attacked by Rooster
EMS called to a working historical farm in town: “Child attacked by rooster.”
Kings and Queens
From a psych patient: “Do you have all your kings and queens or do you need more apples and oranges?”