Browsing articles in "That Was Random"

Don’t Snort the Baking Soda

Female patient in to ER saying she snorted baking soda and was scratching her nose with a pen. When asked why she snorted baking soda she said a friend gave her bad cocaine.

While waiting in the lobby, she gets angry and pushes an 80-year-old male AMS patient waiting for triage next because she said the 80-year-old stepped on her kid. The 80-year-old comes into triage and says, “I must be in bad shape because I didn’t see any kid.”

There was no kid and we ended up having to restrain the female patient.


Riding Dirty

20-something male presents with facial injuries from a fall. He rode a tricycle through the quad (while drunk) and down some steps and landed in a fountain in which someone has placed food coloring in. He was all green and bleeding. To top things off, the cop that came to take the report brought the tricycle with him.

Biscuits and Gravy

Morbidly obese male comes into ER complaining of trouble swallowing. After examining, patient states that he had “choked on a biscuit” without enough gravy and things haven’t been the same since.

I’ve Torn My Metric Arsehole

Call came through as male C/O pain and swelling in leg below knee with a possible fractured ankle. On arrival, pt was found sitting in chair and alert. During the exam, there was no indication of swelling but the patient stated, “Son, son, I think I’ve torn my metric arsehole.”

A football player was recently in the news with a metatarsal injury.

The Human Race

While scanning over a patient’s ER admitting sheet, I noticed that on the race line the patient marked “human”