A large, 41-year-old man was brought in by ambulance to the emergency room and was dazed and confused.
The story goes: he was heavily intoxicated at home and had lashed out or flailed his arm and somehow penetrated his forearm on a long blunt door handle. This was only the beginning because the door handle was still lodged in his upper limb (the ambos removed the handle from the door and not risk taking it out).
Eventually the handle was removed, the wound cleaned and sutured, and he was discharged.
But before leaving he slurred, “Give that back, I need to get into me house!”