I had a patient come
I had a patient come in through triage, her complaint… a broken nail! She had on the long, creepy acrylic ones and it had bent backwards; the actual nail had not broken in any way. When asked what her pain rating was, she said a 7 out of 10. Unbelievable!
Patient is admitted
Patient is admitted after drinking antifreeze. Went through dialysis and nearly died, is now better and transferred to our hospital so she can get help to stop drinking. Perhaps it would work better if she wasn’t drinking from the hand sanitizing gel dispensers around the wards and down in the reception area.
Pt. went into the do
Pt. went into the doctor complaining of a severe fever, swollen glands and sore throat. They wouldn’t admit the patient because she didnt have health insurance. Turns out the pt had mono.
One patient came in
One patient came in ALS and two others BLS where they were either tachycardic and hallucinating, or just plain sedated. The report from the paramedics was they all ate brownies an hour ago and began vomiting uncontrollably with syncopal episodes. The lady who was ALS has a history of cancer and saw a “naturalist” who gave her the brownies to help her with treatment. All of them had a urine tox with cannabis in it 
Today a woman came i
Today a woman came into the ER complaining her “coochie cat was snotting”. I couldn’t help but chuckle
My partner & I were
My partner & I were dispatched to a suspected cardiac arrest. On arrival we were met by a couple who said they had had seen a lady sitting on her front porch in the same position two days in a row and she was still there. When we approached her, my partner tried to call out to her and got no response. He felt her neck for a pulse and turned to me and said feel her hand. When I did a finger broke off. It was plaster maniquin, but even close up it looked like a perfectly good obese woman.
Young female present
Young female presents to ER this evening C/O abdominal pain N/V. Can’t get out 2 full words without screaming and crying, but can say (with no difficulties) “they give me dilaudid for pain”. WOW!!! Imagine that! You can get all that out with no problems, but you can’t point to where your belly is hurting? Guess what she got??? Give up?…Toradol!
30-something y/o mal
30-something y/o male, resident of a state hospital for the insane. a regular at the ED where i used to work. cames in because THIS TIME he swallowed a DOORKNOB. last time it was a door hinge and a bedspring.