A woman brought her six-year-old child into the ED at eight in the morning. The child had vomit all over himself, and was crying profusely and complaining that his chest hurt. He’d swallowed the toothpaste instead of spitting it out while brushing his teeth before school, and his mother had shoved her fingers down to make him puke (she said “about a dozen times”) and then had proceeded to give him the Heimlich hard enough to crack two of his ribs.
I do intefacility transfers (mostly to behavioral health centers) and on one occasion I was met in the ED by a grinning RN. Handing me an apron she continued to explain that my patient was a “chronic masturbator” and then wished me luck with my 45 min. trip…
Had a male nurse go into a curtained room with a female tech to get a cath urine from an elderly demented lady. With curtain pulled he explains he needs a cath urine and patient agrees to the procedure. You hear him say “ok we are going to clean you up down here” and proceeded to use the betadyn when she yells “are you licking me!”
Quote from my patient " my baby daddys other baby mamma bit my ear off"
a few years ago a 55 y/o male called 911 because he cut himself shaving and it was bleeding. when me and my partner responded and took the time to explain to him how to apply toilet paper, and explained he would be ok and it happens. then I asked if he still wanted to go to the ED. he told us yes because he was worried he needed stitches and it might get infected.