I was volunteering in the ED’s registration desk. If you’ve ever been there, you get to see the array of people that come in. A man filled out the registration card. His chief complaint? “My dick itches and my balls hurt”. At least he was honest.
48yo male @ ER; “my friends played a joke on me & put this bottle on my penis”. 20oz Mountain Dew bottle around his penis. He presented 4AM Saturday morning, but this occurred 11PM Thursday night, so he waits 29 hours to come in. He had cut off all of the bottle except the hard plastic part that the cap screws onto, since that plastic was too thick for his scissors, so when he presented he had the top of the soda bottle around the base of his penis. Severe edema & erythema, OK & d/c after 4 days.
Up in triage we have registration forms every patient fills out. If its busy, I often have five or six forms laid out for people I need to triage. Its helpful to know what patients are coming in for so that I can prioritize. One question on the form is “What would you like to be seen for today?”. At least twice a night, a patient writes “Yes”.
In triage, patients are given a form to fill out with their information and chief complaint. So, I walk into my patient’s room with chart in hand, looking for his chief complaint….it reads….”smoked bad crack”…
ok, called to a nursing home for 40 something y/o female co red spot on top of foot. Get there to find pt taking belongings out to her car, finally get her back inside, remove slippers from both feet, and see corresponding red marks on top of both. Tried to explain that it was probably from the slippers rubbing…she was adamant that she had a hx of endocarditis in her feet and this is how it started last time….really?????