Received 20 y/o fema

Received 20 y/o female with a chief c/o “miscarriage”. So I’m doing my assessment, asking her the usual questions.
RN: “Do you have an obgyn?”
Pt: “No”
RN: “Oh, so how was your pregnancy confirmed? did you take a home pregnancy test?”
Pt: “No, I just know I am. You know, it’s woman’s intuition”
RN: “When was your LMP?”
Pt: “Oh my last period was about a month ago, so I’m about 4 weeks pregnant
Needless to say, her urine and serum hcg was (-), her miscarriage turned out to be her period.

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I was volunteering i

I was volunteering in the ED’s registration desk. If you’ve ever been there, you get to see the array of people that come in. A man filled out the registration card. His chief complaint? “My dick itches and my balls hurt”. At least he was honest.

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48yo male @ ER; "my

48yo male @ ER; “my friends played a joke on me & put this bottle on my penis”. 20oz Mountain Dew bottle around his penis. He presented 4AM Saturday morning, but this occurred 11PM Thursday night, so he waits 29 hours to come in. He had cut off all of the bottle except the hard plastic part that the cap screws onto, since that plastic was too thick for his scissors, so when he presented he had the top of the soda bottle around the base of his penis. Severe edema & erythema, OK & d/c after 4 days.

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Up in triage we have

Up in triage we have registration forms every patient fills out. If its busy, I often have five or six forms laid out for people I need to triage. Its helpful to know what patients are coming in for so that I can prioritize. One question on the form is “What would you like to be seen for today?”. At least twice a night, a patient writes “Yes”.

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