I have seen 2 men come to the ER with objects stuck in their rectums. The first was a man with an 11 inch vibrator stuck inside. When we pulled it out it had a condom wrapped around it. The other guy said his wife put a cucumber up his butt. Sure enough there was a cucumber, but we had yet to see any signs of a wife.
A young mother comes in with her 5 year old son. I never really believed dogs ate homework, much like i never believed that children ate glue. he still had the elmer’s white glue applicator stuck to his pants. poison control said there is nothing toxic in the glue and that the kid would be fine. the quiet calm the kid displayed was just classic..
I used to work in radiology before switching to surgery earlier this year. I personally received a call from an in-house patient asking if I could tell her what her last chest xray showed. I told her that her doctor would be the one to tell her that but she wouldn’t take that as an answer. She says, “Last night I had chicken wings and I think I swallowed one. Can you look at the xray and tell me if it’s in my heart?” I simply said “Ma’am, if you had a chicken wing in your heart, you’d be dead.”
A 24 year old came in for a sore throat and body aches. The doctor orders a soft tissue neck x-ray. I bring her over for the exam and she says “I don’t know why the doctor ordered an x-ray of my neck. I mean I have a sore throat, but my whole body aches. I thought I was going to get a whole body scan.”
EMS brings in a child with a mostly-severed arm. Seems he got stuck in the laundry chute and his parents tried to remove him from the wall using a circular saw.