New Year, New STD
A few days after New Year’s, a male comes in with a chief complaint that he doesn’t feel well and wants an STD check. He mutters, “Ugh…New Year’s Eve was really crazy.”
Penis Ring
Patient presents with “groin pain.” Turns out his wife put a ring around his penis and it got stuck. His wife was on the phone and refused to come in saying they were getting a divorce. We had to use wire clippers and metal saw to remove the ring, along with some flesh.
Lava Lamp
PT comes in after a night out with the boys. He states that he had a small, battery-operated lava lamp inserted into his rectum. Sent him to OR for removal.
Crocheted by Granny
Ambulance arrived to ER with 60-something year old female patient that was in a minor car accident. In order to remove the C-collar, I had to check for a spinal injury. As we roll the patient over I notice she is wearing a thong. While that itself is not that strange, the fact that it was crocheted made it a little special.
Attacked by Rooster
EMS called to a working historical farm in town: “Child attacked by rooster.”