A few days after New Year’s, a male comes in with a chief complaint that he doesn’t feel well and wants an STD check. He mutters, “Ugh…New Year’s Eve was really crazy.”
Patient presents with “groin pain.” Turns out his wife put a ring around his penis and it got stuck. His wife was on the phone and refused to come in saying they were getting a divorce. We had to use wire clippers and metal saw to remove the ring, along with some flesh.
PT comes in after a night out with the boys. He states that he had a small, battery-operated lava lamp inserted into his rectum. Sent him to OR for removal.
Ambulance arrived to ER with 60-something year old female patient that was in a minor car accident. In order to remove the C-collar, I had to check for a spinal injury. As we roll the patient over I notice she is wearing a thong. While that itself is not that strange, the fact that it was crocheted made it a little special.
EMS called to a working historical farm in town: “Child attacked by rooster.”