Sunburned ex-husband
Sunburned ex-husband. I say: Pat down w/vinegar, have a cool shower. He decides rubbing alcohol is a better option. 30 min later we go to the ER, cuz he’s in crispy hysterics. ER nurse says: Save a 5hr wait and $600. Go home, fill the tub w/tepid water, add 2 quarts of vinegar and get in. Advice met w/stony silence. He actually got redder. I got a NASTY look. And he stomped out w/o a single word. The RN grinned like a pumpkin. I grinned back.
Get a call for an un
Get a call for an unknown sick at a local grocery store. Dispatch says patient in distress. Fire is in the area so they tag along. We arrive and the patient is nowhere to be found. Partner goes to talk with staff and I see a woman waving at me from a pay phone. She confirms she called 911, her emergency? Her cell phone charger broke.
We had a pt come in
We had a pt come in one day by AMBULANCE for a cold sore on her lip. After being placed in a hall bed in fast track (really it was the only bed open at the time and we can’t put ambulance pts in the hall), she requested to use a phone. A nurse took her to a phone where she proceeded to call 911 and ask for someone to come take her to a different hospital. The nurse walked in during the middle of the conversation and grabbed the phone and hung up. Apparently her cold sore was hurting a lot…
A 55 yo patient with
A 55 yo patient with torsion of ovary – she came in twice, each time with a different ovary. So she says – doc, can a really big penis cause this? I hafta stop having sex so I don’t come to the hospital so often!
Had a patient who ca
Had a patient who came in with a complaint of extreme headache and loss of consciousness. On arrival (by ambulance) to the ER, he said he was fine and had made it all up. He just needed a ride to the hospital for a scheduled colonoscopy.
I had a patient in m
I had a patient in my triage chair, screaming that it was an emergency and why would I “waste time out here when they should be saving my feet! They’re turning blue, I’m going to lose them!!!!” Quick glance down. “Ma’am, are they new socks?” (Reach for an alcohol swab and swab her ankle…) They dye was bleeding from her socks, she stood up, gave me a haughty look and without a word, marched out as if it was all my fault.
Get a call for a gsw
Get a call for a gsw to the face unknown further. upon arrival find pt holding a towel under his chin. pt stated he shot himself under the chin with a .22 lr. pt stated he didn’t want to kill himself, that he wanted to get his hemhroids fixed. I explained to the pt he shot himself in the wrong place for that to happen. oh bullet lodged in his jaw, still able to talk, just in alot of pain.
woman clearly faking
woman clearly faking seizures for the fourth time in a week… “I am in status dammit! Give me valium! Don’t you idiots know what status is?!”