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<description>Recently Added Visits</description>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1520</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1520</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[love the patients who tell you they take latex for fluid and have had stool in their blood and are very put out when you ask them in triage since they have had their stated problem for weeks or months what made them come in tonight (usually around 3 am)<br><br>By: errn53<br />on 21-07-2010<br>Category: That_Was_Random<br>Yes Votes: 55 | No Votes: 7<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>errn53</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Sex/1519</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Sex/1519</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[female calls the er at about 0600 with a question  she said that she and her boyfriend had sex and now they could not find the condom  she stated that they had looked everywhere and wanted to know if she should come to the er or wait to pee it out  after resisting the urge to tell her that if she peed it out she had more iasues than we could help her with i advised her to call her pcp office when they opened and assured her she would be ok until then<br><br>By: errn53<br />on 21-07-2010<br>Category: Sex<br>Yes Votes: 43 | No Votes: 7<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>errn53</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1516</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1516</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[call came through as male co pain and swelling in left leg below knee fx ankle oa pt found sitting in chair alert oe no indication of swelling pt stated son son i think ive torn my metric arsehole

a famous footballer (soccer player) had recently been in the news with a metatarsal injury<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 19-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 58 | No Votes: 8<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1515</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1515</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[pt admitted with dts  aox1 groggy and confused most of the night  without warning stands up just about loses his iv walks straight to the mini fridge and wolfs down a sherbet i didnt know was there  climbs back in bed like nothing happened  aox1 for the rest of my shift  best chuckle ive had in a long time<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 19-07-2010<br>Category: That_Was_Random<br>Yes Votes: 39 | No Votes: 4<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1513</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1513</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[an elderly man has rectal bleeding and calls his primary to schedule an appt he doesnt tell them hes bleeding profusely they schedule him for an appt in a month he decides this is too long of a wait what do you do with bleeding cauterize it so he jams his wifes curling iron in his ass and plugs it in cooks his innards and passes out on the floor ems has to breakdown the door to get to him surgery pulled the curling iron out performed an ap resection and the guy lived <br><br>By: h00ter<br />on 16-07-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 57 | No Votes: 12<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>h00ter</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1512</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1512</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[pt came into via ehs co a had a bad dream the er doc told him to stop doing drugs<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 16-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 42 | No Votes: 3<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1511</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1511</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[cc patient complains of one nare bigger than the other no sob no pain <br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 15-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 40 | No Votes: 1<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1510</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1510</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[i was verifying a little boys identity in triage by asking whats your date of birth
he answered  may 2nd  i asked what year and his answer  well every year silly<br><br>By: JulieRN<br />on 14-07-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 38 | No Votes: 39<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>JulieRN</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1508</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1508</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[cc  choked on a biscuit (obviously there was not enough mustard on it)<br><br>By: Cash<br />on 12-07-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 34 | No Votes: 6<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Cash</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1507</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1507</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[pa tells me go check the lac in room 10 50 yo f sitting on stetcher nad watching tv big bandaid on top of rfa i introduce myself glove up and peel bandaid off to reveal pinpoint mark neg current bleeding neg sign of previous bleed ask about injury pt says my arm touched the end of the knife so i thought i should get it checked cleaned wns bacitracin  new bandaid <br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 12-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 90 | No Votes: 1<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1506</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1506</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[on one of our 24 hours shifts  our first call of the day was a woman from a local living facility for mr people for a spoon stuck in her mouth with severe hemorhaging we get there and the girl had one of those rubber-covered end spoons suctioned under her tongue in her lower pallate and had broken her tooth when she bit down on the metal handle staff couldnt get it outtook doc about 3 minutes to pry it out-- and she never bled<br><br>By: rnemt<br />on 12-07-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 58 | No Votes: 5<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>rnemt</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1505</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1505</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[a young lady came in after a minor accident in shopping mall parking lot she co severe toe pain to all her toes  both feet so the emt splinted both feet with iv arm boards(long ones) i asked as she rolled by the desk on a stretcher down high or cross country accident every one at desk laughed of course her toes were fine x-ray machines can cure a lot  every notice how someone can get up and walk after you tell them there is no fracture<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 11-07-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 45 | No Votes: 8<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1504</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1504</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[a couple comes into peds er with their 4 mo baby the formula milk looks funny they did&Acirc;t feed the baby the formula but they just wanted to leave the record of the incident <br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 08-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 55 | No Votes: 5<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Sex/1502</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Sex/1502</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[911 dispatch to a syncope call when my female partner and i get to the door she is the only one allowed in  after about 5 minutes she exits the apartment laughing with the ama signed it turns out the couple were enjoying a little oral sex when he got light headed and passed out i suggested we go back and tell him to marry her
<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 07-07-2010<br>Category: Sex<br>Yes Votes: 45 | No Votes: 48<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1501</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1501</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[called to the local inpatient addiction  rehab hospital to transport someone who cant seem to stay awake problem is the call came in at 0300 hrs<br><br>By: old medic<br />on 05-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 51 | No Votes: 6<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>old medic</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1500</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1500</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[patient comes into the er with this chief complaint  i saw flying saucer land in the desert and i have been abducted i think they put in an alien probe inside my body and i want it taken out do you think my insurance will cover it the er doctor answers  i dont know about the insurance but i can tell you this you need to go to (mentions name of a nearby hospital) because they have a special machine there that will take out that probe we dont have that kind of machine here<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 02-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 96 | No Votes: 7<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1499</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1499</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[dispatched to local nursing home for pt needing to go to the er uoa facilitys nurse says pt going to er the only level i trauma center in the area for an iv just to start the line-no drugs pushed not even saline no other problems just an iv placement <br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 01-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 73 | No Votes: 5<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1498</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1498</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[we went to a call at 2am for a 21 year old female with hemerrhoids and she cant walk  i ask the patient what shes be treating her hemerrhoids withshe responds tiger balm (if you are unfamiliar with itits somewhat caustic and not designed for hemerrhoids)  my partner and i both cringe  she walks  the triage nurse had the same responsefollowed by oh my godwhy<br><br>By: medic912<br />on 01-07-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 49 | No Votes: 18<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>medic912</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1496</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1496</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[patient brought to the emergency department (ed) with a minor gunshot wound  when asked how he got shot pt stated his bullets got wet so he was drying them on the stove top<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 30-06-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 68 | No Votes: 10<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1495</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1495</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[patient evaluated in er for earache  returned to er 4 hours later  chief complaint now my other ear is hurting<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 29-06-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 46 | No Votes: 18<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
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