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<atom:link href="http://www.ertards.com/rss.php" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /><title>Recently Added Visits - ERtards: Documenting the retards that visit the emergency room. </title>
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<description>Recently Added Visits</description>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1332</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1332</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[rn nurse told me of a guy brought in by ambulance seems he had severe burns to his thighs and backside but refused to give info on how it happened his girlfriend was finally consulted and she said he liked to sit on the toilet and light m-80s then throw them in the pot and jump off guess he never heard of a short fuse<br><br>By: Dunge<br />on 07-03-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 59 | No Votes: 0<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Dunge</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1331</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1331</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[dumb 12yo male presents with pain swelling and abrasions on penis  he took dads viagra and ended up with priapism  told the hysterical mom that swelling was called an erection and that abrasions on penis came from the brat whacking off too hard and thus the pain  mom asked what do we give brat to get rid of erection  told her about detum procedure with 16-gauge needle and 60cc syringe  brat looked horrified but mom said it will teach him a lesson  jeez people are stupid<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 06-03-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 63 | No Votes: 5<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1327</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1327</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[while in the er i heard an ambulance call to give report on a patient so i picked up the radio to get report the paramedic said that hes transporting a 23 year old male that called 911 because he just wasnt feeling right his chief complaint happened after the patient had smoked a bag of marijuana and then followed that by smoking a rock of crack any wonder why he just wasnt feeling right <br><br>By: ER RN<br />on 05-03-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 57 | No Votes: 4<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>ER RN</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1326</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1326</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[18 year old came into the er pumping blood out of an artery in her hand while chopping vegetables for her bfs valentines day dinner  cant you just put a few stitches in it  i need to go home hes going to make love to me tonight and i dont want to miss it  i didnt pass out i just closed my eyes for a few minutes  ill come back tomorrow i promise  <br><br>By: funbags, md<br />on 04-03-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 52 | No Votes: 7<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>funbags, md</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Drunks/1323</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Drunks/1323</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[we had a frequent flyer drunk who was brought in by her husband when he just couldnt take her shenanigans anymore  this time she said she took a handful of tylenol as the tests were being run i proceed to hand her a cup of charcoal (used to treat od) to drink when she turns to me making a face and says shit cant you at least put some sugar in it this is the worst cup of coffee i have ever had i had to hold back the laughs even though the whole nurses station was in cracking up<br><br>By: Jack Attack<br />on 04-03-2010<br>Category: Drunks<br>Yes Votes: 61 | No Votes: 1<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Jack Attack</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1321</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1321</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[a patient came in complaining of white vaginal discharge that only happens after shes done having sex with her boyfriend when asked if her boyfriend ever wears condoms she shook her head no <br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 03-03-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 89 | No Votes: 1<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1319</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1319</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[i triaged a very large very shy woman  i asked her what brought her in to the er today and she just sat there  i said dear if you dont tell me whats wrong i wont know how to help you  slowly and quietly she proceeds to tell me i slammed my boob in the trunk  i said i am going to have to take a look  the boob looked like a very large blueberry  she stated the trunk locked on it and i had to scream for my husband to unlock it  priceless<br><br>By: TraumaJockRN<br />on 01-03-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 40 | No Votes: 50<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>TraumaJockRN</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/ER_Staff/1314</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/ER_Staff/1314</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[it was long long time ago patient presents to county hospital with severe headache while wearing cylinder hat when triaged and it was his time to be examined he was found dead with a knife in his head hidden by cylinder hat sounds like he deserved the darwin award<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 26-02-2010<br>Category: ER_Staff<br>Yes Votes: 52 | No Votes: 32<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/ER_Staff/1313</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/ER_Staff/1313</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[inner city patient presents to er with gsw when asked about npo status he responds that he had mcdonalds hamburger after been shot since last time you didnt allow me to eat before the surgery<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 26-02-2010<br>Category: ER_Staff<br>Yes Votes: 56 | No Votes: 6<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1312</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1312</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[a trauma-found naked (with one boot on) jumping on a ladies car(while she was in it) frost bit foot-then was tazed 6-7 times by pdbrought to the er where we found he had rock salt on his penis<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 26-02-2010<br>Category: That_Was_Random<br>Yes Votes: 56 | No Votes: 10<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1304</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Funny/1304</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[a 20-something year old mother brought her 3 yo daughter in stating the daughter drank her strawberry-scented douche and wanted to know if she would be okay<br><br>By: BlissfullyAlive<br />on 23-02-2010<br>Category: Funny<br>Yes Votes: 47 | No Votes: 21<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>BlissfullyAlive</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1300</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1300</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[25 yr old lad comes in early hours of sunday with panic attack and freaked out after taking a couple of e tabs we ask if he suffers from anxiety normally to which the idiot replies no only when i take ecstacy<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 79 | No Votes: 7<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1299</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1299</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[had a blind lady check in that said she could smell the roaches in her house her complaint stuffy nose ---wouldnt that be a good thing<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: That_Was_Random<br>Yes Votes: 34 | No Votes: 5<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1298</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1298</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[had a pt come in with multiple lacs to face and head turns out he pulled a bat out on someone checking out his girl needless to say they took it away and beat him with it<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: That_Was_Random<br>Yes Votes: 51 | No Votes: 5<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1297</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1297</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[had a man come into the er saying that he tried to hang himself and the rope broke for added dramatic effect the rope still around his neck and suprisingly no bruising or irriatation on his neck he then proceeded to walk around the waiting room telling other patients that he was dead 
<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: That_Was_Random<br>Yes Votes: 73 | No Votes: 6<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1296</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/That_Was_Random/1296</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[woman was brought in by ambulance having overdosed on wine and oxycodone because her husband had during an argument called her a useless fat drug-addicted bitch and a bad mother for her children i thought he had a good case<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: That_Was_Random<br>Yes Votes: 62 | No Votes: 13<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1295</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1295</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[had a man call 911 because someone broke into his home covered his turkey with chloroform trying to poison him he said he could feel his mouth burning and wanted us to smell his breath to see if the poison has gone away yet
<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 68 | No Votes: 5<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1294</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1294</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[had a 16 year old female come in with sudden onset severe llq pain which concerned me for ovarian torsion spoke with mom and dad and explained that i needed to do a pelvic exam the girl having no idea what i was talking about looked blankly at her mom who then said very matter-of-factly honey the doctor needs to do a twinkie poke and scrape like mommy has to do every year this is how they explained a pelvic exam to a 16 year old<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 98 | No Votes: 4<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1293</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1293</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[i work in a doctorss office and one pt called complaining of cold symptoms fever of 99 and was afraid to get ammonia again<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 71 | No Votes: 6<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
</item>
<item>
  <link>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1292</link>
  <guid>http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/1292</guid>
  <description>
    <![CDATA[had a 18 yo female come in for uri symptoms for one day no fever (priority one i know)told her it was likely viral and sent her homecame back 5 hours later because i wasnt better yet<br><br>By: Anonymous<br />on 21-02-2010<br>Category: Complete_Idiots<br>Yes Votes: 69 | No Votes: 4<br/><br/><br /><hr>    ]]>
  </description>
  <author>Anonymous</author>
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