ERtards: Documenting the retards that visit the emergency room.

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- Concept : This is a place for you to vent about your experiences. There are no taboo subjects, so feel free to vent as we know there are a lot of goobers out there. Remember, there are plenty of medical professionals that are total tards too. So this is open to patients as well as staff members.
- If your story isn't published on our website, it is likely because it contains racist comments or poor spelling. Anything else we are pretty ok with.

Best Visits

EMS brings in a child with a mostly-severed arm. Seems he got stuck in the laundry chute and his parents tried to remove him from the wall using a circular saw.

#463 (0) by mvzlibby - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (551) - I dunno, seems legit. (21)

a mother brought her 15 year old daughter to a tertiary level hospital Emergency Department because she had a patch of pimples on her cheek and she had a party to go to that night and she wanted us to make them go away. luckily the busy waiting room made her go away.

#447 (0) by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (510) - I dunno, seems legit. (9)

40-ish dad brings his 11 yo daughter to the ER on a saturday night (about 11pm) 'cause "last month she was bleeding "down there" and it started again today..."

#424 (1) by la_loutre - Funny - Get back to the waiting room (501) - I dunno, seems legit. (25)

I had a 15 year old girl come in with her 16 month old son and 2 week old daughter so she could get the staples removed from her C-Section! Then she told me that they couldn't afford condoms or birth control, and wanted to know if we had any that she could have. I told her no but that the planned parenthood (they give free condoms) 2 streets down would, she said nevermind she wasn't walking that far.

#431 (3) by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (480) - I dunno, seems legit. (8)

A woman brought her six-year-old child into the ED at eight in the morning. The child had vomit all over himself, and was crying profusely and complaining that his chest hurt. He'd swallowed the toothpaste instead of spitting it out while brushing his teeth before school, and his mother had shoved her fingers down to make him puke (she said "about a dozen times") and then had proceeded to give him the Heimlich hard enough to crack two of his ribs.

#506 (0) by datarat - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (479) - I dunno, seems legit. (9)

one night we had a woman bleeding out from stab wounds and another woman complained that she had been there 10 minutes before her and demanded to know why she hadn't been seen yet as she had a bad migraine. I wanted to choke her out with the blood pressure cuff.

#445 (1) by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (425) - I dunno, seems legit. (18)

Had a call into the ER last week: "my cat ate some of my chicken while i was in the bathroom, will she be ok?". the waiting room was packed so i just hung up.

#451 (1) by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (415) - I dunno, seems legit. (16)

My favorites are the ones who tell you "I'm having a seizure" while shaking at the same time and then sliding to the floor in just a way so they don't injure themselves! seizures are completely involuntary. you loose.

#449 (2) by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (384) - I dunno, seems legit. (16)

As an orderly a nurse calls me and asks that i take a patient who expired down to the morgue. i arrive at the bed and take the patient. In the elevator i start hearing some noises and notice the body moving. after i calm down from nearly having a heart attack i realize the patient was just sleeping and the nurse gave me the wrong location. imagine if the patient woke up in the morgue?

#452 (0) by Anonymous - ER_Staff - Get back to the waiting room (373) - I dunno, seems legit. (42)

When asked for her medical allergies the other night, a patient told one of our nurses she was allergic to oxygen. Seriously.

#437 (0) by Anonymous - Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (367) - I dunno, seems legit. (14)

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