You’re Lucky Enough to be Alive

A 21 year old kid had just been brought in from a high speed drunk driving accident. Him and his buddies hadn’t been wearing seat belts and on impact my patient was ejected, flew 30 feet and landed on his left side. He had a couple broken bones, but his head was intact, he could walk and would only need to wear a brace and a cast for a couple months. His family comes in said they’d won 50 bucks in the lottery. To which he says, “Man, I never win anything. I’m so unlucky.”

.. I’m sorry.. What?

Crashed into Cellular Store

EMS called to a crash where driver lost control of vehicle and crashed into cellular store. The funny part was the driver was on his cell phone when he crashed into the store.

Green Thumb and a Red Head

Female patient presents with a head laceration. She was gardening when she tripped over her dog and her face connected with a cement planter. She was in good spirits and even joked by saying, “I’ve got a green thumb and a red head.”

Leaving the Dentist

Mid-20’s female presents with several teeth missing. She tripped and fell while leaving the dentist. Paramedics joked that it was a ploy by the dentist for repeat business.

Duck for Dinner

Male patient presents with a finger laceration to bone. States he was beheading a duck for dinner and missed.