Browsing articles in "Sex"
May 10, 2018
ERTard Team

The Case of a Broken Penis

We had an episode where a guy came in with a broken penis. He has apparently been having a good ol time with his girlfriend and missed going back in and had been going kinda fast and broken the cartilage in his penis. When he left, he had a cast on his penis. His girlfriend didn’t even drive him to the ER, he had to drive himself.

Jan 6, 2017
ERtards

Back Up the Tubes

A guy in his 20’s came in with his fiancee (she forced him to apparently) and stated that he got drunk one night and wanted to “play with himself.” He stated he shoved his testicles “back up the tubes.” Sure enough they were partially lodged in the inguinal canal. The worst part is that he waited 2 YEARS to be seen for it. Ouch!

Jun 23, 2013
ERtards

Broken Rubber

Dispatched out at 0115 for “injured person.” Arrived to find a 16 y/o female who, in a low voice, said, “My boyfriend’s rubber just broke and I need a pregnancy test.”

May 17, 2013
ERtards

Cash or Credit?

Female presents with vaginal bleeding. Imagine my surprise when I go to do the exam and see a VISA card lodged in her vagina.

Apr 10, 2013
ERtards

First Dose of Pills

Patient comes in to ER complaining of STD symptoms for a month. He was seen and treated the previous month for same symptoms. Pt responds, “I only took the first dose of pills that I was given, I didn’t know I had to take the rest.”

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Most Votes

Seems legit

  1. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (518)
  2. Are You Diabetic? (317)
  3. Hygiene First! (302)
  4. I'm pregnant, I think! (268)
  5. A dang hangnail? (209)
  6. Can you check these bumps? (175)
  7. A Shocking Ending (169)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (163)
  9. Help me, I'm homeless (158)
  10. Patient is in "stable" condition (151)
  11. Peeping Psych (148)
  12. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (145)
  13. Yummy! (141)
  14. I pooped and I can't get up! (132)
  15. It's a Mall Emergency! (130)
  16. Allergic to Tylenol (120)
  17. Broken Rubber (119)
  18. Morphine Doesn't Help (109)
  19. Yup, You're Preggers (108)
  20. Airplane vs. Nose (108)

Kind of fishy

  1. Patient's Boot (43)
  2. I'm pregnant, I think! (42)
  3. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (39)
  4. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (38)
  5. Patient is in "stable" condition (33)
  6. Cash or Credit? (31)
  7. Kentucky Jelly (30)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (25)
  9. Broken Rubber (23)
  10. Job Well Done (22)
  11. Airplane vs. Nose (21)
  12. Are You Diabetic? (20)
  13. Peeping Psych (18)
  14. Fresh Breath (18)
  15. Chief complaint: Pine Sol (17)
  16. Super Duper! (17)
  17. Bedpost Toy (17)
  18. Help me, I'm homeless (16)
  19. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (16)
  20. I need to get into my house! (16)

Fake

  1. Kentucky Jelly (605)
  2. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (560)
  3. Patient is in "stable" condition (250)
  4. When's Your Birthday? (105)
  5. Contraceptive Jelly (93)
  6. They Done Named Her (90)
  7. Spoon in the Ass (75)
  8. Job Well Done (71)
  9. Prostate Exam at 3AM (70)
  10. It Hurts When I Do This (64)
  11. Smells Like Burnt Asshole (64)
  12. My wife, uh, has worms (60)
  13. A New Boy Toy (55)
  14. I overheard a pt in (52)
  15. Magnets in the Floor (50)
  16. Alien Probe (50)
  17. Call it Schizophrenia (48)
  18. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (48)
  19. Bang for his Buck (47)
  20. A pikie bloke comes (45)