ERtards

Male patient comes in to the ER, states, “I think I’m having an allergic reaction to this stuff. I had itchy bumps on my legs so I put it on.” The patient put capsaicin creme (made with the same stuff that makes chili peppers hot) on the “itchy bumps”. The “itchy bumps” were scabies.

We once had a woman call 911 because she “had deja vu in the shower and got really nervous”. That’s an emergency?

Girl came in complaining of burning pain to her neck and shoulders. Turns out she used Icy-Hot rub and didn’t expect the sensation she got.

Male patient calls 911 for shortness of breath because his jock itch was hurting too much…