Blood in the Baby’s Stool
A couple brings in their 8 month old stating they saw blood in her stool. First the night before and then that morning, they even brought the diaper so that we could verify. Upon inspection we asked if the child is eating solid foods, then point out that its just tomato skins. The look on their faces was priceless as they admitted child had tomato the day before.
Broken Rubber
Dispatched out at 0115 for “injured person.” Arrived to find a 16 y/o female who, in a low voice, said, “My boyfriend’s rubber just broke and I need a pregnancy test.”
It hurts when I fart…
Funniest chief complaint I ever heard in triage: “It hurts when I fart…”
Yup, You’re Preggers
Young woman comes in to ER saying she hasn’t had her period for 5 months. She denies being sexually active, but the urine test says otherwise. Shockingly it turns out she was preggers.
Fresh Breath
We got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene and she hands us an empty mint container saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.