The Case of a Broken Penis

We had an episode where a guy came in with a broken penis. He has apparently been having a good ol time with his girlfriend and missed going back in and had been going kinda fast and broken the cartilage in his penis. When he left, he had a cast on his penis. His girlfriend didn’t even drive him to the ER, he had to drive himself.

Massive Quantities of Calories

Seen in a consult note for a morbidly obese gentleman with heart failure: “…apparently while his wife was working, Mr. X had been sitting at home consuming massive quantities of calories and not exercising…”

Back Up the Tubes

A guy in his 20’s came in with his fiancee (she forced him to apparently) and stated that he got drunk one night and wanted to “play with himself.” He stated he shoved his testicles “back up the tubes.” Sure enough they were partially lodged in the inguinal canal. The worst part is that he waited 2 YEARS to be seen for it. Ouch!

Discharged for Dehydration

I am wheeled into the ER by my dad because I can’t walk due to the pain in my legs from dehydration. Dehydration, by the way, was my chief complaint. All vitals were consistent with this, and when the doctor came into the room to ask what was wrong, I said I was dehydrated. He looked at me and said “you don’t look like it to me.” Then he turned around and walked out. My dad and I waited another hour for something to happen when finally a nurse came in and said “oh, you’re still here? The doctor discharged you an hour ago.”

$100 to tell me I don’t look dehydrated. No blood work, no fluids, no physical examination. Not even a cup of water.

I fainted in the parking lot on the way out.

That got their attention.

Blood in the Baby’s Stool

A couple brings in their 8 month old stating they saw blood in her stool. First the night before and then that morning, they even brought the diaper so that we could verify. Upon inspection we asked if the child is eating solid foods, then point out that its just tomato skins. The look on their faces was priceless as they admitted child had tomato the day before.