ER story archive

Drunks

Stories where alcohol and good judgment parted ways.

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drunks

Sixty-two year old m

Sixty-two year old man came by ambulance, the second time that day…he drank beer and smoked pot after his first visit and now he "felt funny"…duh…as soon as this genius was dischar

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drunks

Skull Bashing

Man brought in after getting drunk, climbing on top of his RV and promptly falling off. He landed on his skull resulting in a skull fracture and epidural brain bleed.

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drunks

Sunday afternoon, 18

Sunday afternoon, 18yr old man presented to ER after a big night out drinking with a headache, nausea, dry mouth and dizziness. He had traveled 8 miles to the hospital and waited 3hrs only to be told it was a hangover. Twat

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drunks

Things you don't do

Things you don’t do after a night of drinking include pushing over a no parking sign, using it to leverage open a man hole cover and falling asleep inside because it is raining. These things will lead to a 911 call by some random passerby.

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drunks

This drunk girl come

This drunk girl comes in at 2am sits down at triage and begins to explain her problem. she went out to the club to have a good time and "No one would pay me any attention"…That was

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drunks

Today, we get a call

Today, we get a call from the paramedics stating that they are bring in a near drowning. Turns out some hobo slept on a lawn chair in a creek and when it rained he got swept away. It ended up getting stuck under a small bridge with one hand grasping the bridge and the other his half empty beer.

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drunks

Warning: Small Penis

A drunk trauma patient is brought in and as we cut off his clothes to check for other injuries, he makes it a point to warn everyone that he has a small penis.

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drunks

Wasted Granny

Grandma came in via ambulance for stroke-like symptoms. Multiple worried and overbearing family members were hovering around staff believing grandma needed exclusive attention from the entire department. Turns out grandma had one too many glasses of wine.

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drunks

We had a frequent fl

We had a frequent flyer drunk who was brought in by her husband when he just couldn’t take her shenanigans anymore. This time she said she took a handful of Tylenol. As the tests were being run, I proceed to hand her a cup of charcoal (used to treat OD) to drink, when she turns to me making a face ...

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drunks

We often have to dea

We often have to deal with this drunk who when sober can be mildly decent. Today was not one of those days. He got annoyed at one of the nurses and then threw his bed pan at her. Since we lack real security guards and I’m one of the bigger guys in the department I had to baby sit this ...

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drunks

We were having a bir

We were having a birthday party for one of the paramedics we work with at a bar near a large pond. After a few too many drinks, one of the medics decided he was going to ride his bicycle to his home which is on the other side of the park. We see him riding across the bridge over the ...

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drunks

While walking throug

While walking through the waiting room I was greeted by a drunken hobo who asks me if he could go outside for a smoke before being seen by the doctor. I say "sure".. moments later

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drunks

Wipe Yourself Up

Had a guy that came in drunk the other night and had to have an ultrasound of his lower extremity. When the ultrasound tech handed him a towel to wipe off the gel, his response was,

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drunks

Working at an ER nea

Working at an ER near a major event venue means that at the midway point of concerts we start getting a lot of drunks. One girl came in halfway through the Springsteen concert drunk and barely conscious. Six hours later her parents come to get her, and as she staggers out with her vomit soaked jacket in her hand she ...

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