er tards
911 From the ER
Patient called 911 from the ER waiting room because he thought he would be able to be seen quicker.
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ER Tards
Classic ERtards stories from the shallow end of the gene pool.
37 storieser tards
A Bug Done Bit Me
Woman in the ER complaining of an incredibly painful bug bit. She explained it as, “I was sitting on a park bench, minding my own business, when a bug done jumped up and bit me…”
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A dang hangnail?
Had a very distraught mother bring her 2-year-old child into ER with CC of “foot pain”. Mom stated that the child pulled at shoes and cried when walking. I pulled off the child’s s
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A New Fashion Statement
When I say
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An Aspirin and a Fingernail
18-year-old girl presents to ER demanding attention and pain killers because she had, in a fit of rage with her boyfriend, ripped off one of her false nails.
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Balls Are Too High
The child's family were worried because
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“C” is for Cookie!
Patient comes in to emergency room with toothache and terrible jaw pain. He has “trouble” talking and moving his jaw. Being the awesome ER that we are, we have cookies at the nurse
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Call Ahead Reservation
We had a parent ask if they could fax their insurance cards in ahead of time so they wouldn't have to wait so long. If you have time to do that you probably don't need to be in the ER!
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Calling in “Sick” for Work
Lady presents to ER c/o bruise on leg which had been there 1 1/2 to 2 weeks and hurt.
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Can you check these bumps?
Patient in his 60s in ER with severe dyspnea, O2 sat in the low 80's. We start working like mad to get his sats up.
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Casper the Unfriendly Ghost
We had a female patient that presented in the ER with palms that she thought looked weird.
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Cough One Up to Overprotective Parents
We had an ambulance bring in a child with a “bad” cough. During triage, we explained to the parents that the child was a low priority and that they would have a 3 hour minimum wait
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Do Not Do the Dew!
Admitting a pt from the ER who was told they had to remain NPO until we had orders from the doctor. Come into the room to find the boyfriend feeding her french fries and a large Mt Dew!
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Energizer Bunny
A frequent visitor comes into the ER with her latest attempt for pain medications, complaining that she is dying of pain.
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Fast Track to a Transfer
We had a patient come in one day by ambulance for a cold sore on her lip. After being placed in a hall bed in fast track (really it was the only bed open at the time and we can't put ambulance pts in the hall), she requested to use a phone.
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Five Times to Stay Alive
Patient in to ER 5 times in less than 24 hours for dry mouth and left foot pain. Left every time after triage and refused to go to his own doctor!
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Glass of Water
When I was a resident in ED, a patient yelled at me that he was leaving because he had waited hours to see a doctor. This was at 2am. The triage nurse later told me that he had presented with hiccups and was given a glass of water on arrival which stopped the hiccups.
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I Should Be Dead By Now
Male patient in ER was high as a kite. After a couple of hours he started saying “I should be dead by now!” He then tried to convince the other people in the waiting room that he h
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I Want Them Tested!
We had a mother come in and yelling, “My kids were EXPOSED to pneumonia and I want them tested!” Kids were running around and healthy.
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I’ll Be Back
18 y/o female in ER for URI symptoms that presented earlier in the day. She had no fever and I told her it was likely viral and sent her home.
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Just Say No!
Patient can no longer afford $13 a day for the methadone clinic so they came to the emergency room and refused a transfer to a treatment center! Moral of the story? Just say no to drugs!
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Manual Labor isn’t for Everyone
We had a male patient come in with a bandage on his hand and a shirt covered in sweat and dirt. Turns out, he had been outside digging a hole in his yard without any work gloves on.
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Michael Jackson and a Banana Peel
It was an exciting day to be in the ER: chief complaints of
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Might Be A Hernia
Patient in to ER with stomach pain and said to triage nurse, “I had lunch and then drove back to work on a bumpy road. My stomach hurts…do you think it might be a hernia?”
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Mommy’s Meltdown
18yr old pt came in w/ father. Dx: fx requiring ORIF. He consented to surgery and was taken up to the OR quite quickly.
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New Year’s Party in the ER
Pt came into the ER on New Year's Eve night for a doctors note to avoid going back to work the next day. He also brought with him a girlfriend who said she had a red lump on her chest for 2 years!
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Not Enough Narcotics
Pt drove over 2 hours in the snow to come in for “back pain” meds. He was allergic to: Tylenol, ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen. Yet, he was NOT allergic to: hydrocodone, Vicodin,
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OMG Becky, Look at that Wart!
I was a patient waiting in the ER at 10:30pm for an allergic reaction to medicine that caused my throat to start closing.
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Oxygen and Friends
Especially when they are prescribed 5 liters of oxygen while at home, weigh 400 pounds, and don't have oxygen on when they arrive. Then while in an ER bed they tell you they are here to visit their
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Pain in the Ear
We had a patient come into the ER that was evaluated for an earache.
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Seen First
Patient had the gall to say,
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The Mysterious Bug Bite
Woman races to ER for a
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Under Pressure
Man presents to the ER with chest pain. Taken back to a tele room for evaluation, patient admits chest pain is not his primary concern, it's his blood pressure. Patient's BP is normal for his age.
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Waiting For Her Ride
After being discharged, she was told the ambulance would not be taking her home. A few hours later she was still waiting in the lobby waiting for her ride.
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What Happens In Louisiana…
At a rural Louisiana ED, man brings himself and 3 children in after they
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What’s Your Status?
Woman was admitted a few days before for various reasons and was under surveillance. However, she had a tendency for psych episodes and would fake seizures.
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Will this take long?
A women with two toddlers is in our fast track. Her CC is “vaginal D/C”. When I tell her we will need to move her into a gyne room she asks (exasperated) “Will this take long? I’m
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