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ER story archive

Funny

The lighter side of life inside the emergency room.

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funny

Take that Bra Off!

Elderly female comes to ER via ambulance c/o chest pain. When we took her bra off for the x-ray, she said she felt much better. Turns out she put her much smaller roommate's bra on that morning!

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funny

Teeny Weenie

An 18-year-old presents in the ER with a “small penis” and he is scared something bad had happened. Turns out he was swimming in a cold swimming pool and was promptly told to go ho

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funny

The Case of a Broken Penis

We had an episode where a guy came in with a broken penis. He has apparently been having a good ol time with his girlfriend and missed going back in and had been going kinda fast and broken the cartilage in his penis. When he left, he had a cast on his penis. His girlfriend didn’t even drive him to ...

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funny

The patient presente

The patient presented with a laceration to his upper thigh. As he’s walking to the room he asks me "Do you know what holds the world together? " I thought a moment and answered, "D

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funny

This 25 year old guy

This 25 year old guy comes into triage with a scared look on his face and a towel around his hand. He tells me he had an accident with a band saw and he thinks he has an amputation. i pull away the towel to reveal the cut… it was a paper cut – didn’t require any stitches. i gave ...

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funny

Triage Nurse: "How

Triage Nurse: “How are you doing today hun?” 90 something patient from a nursing home yelling at the top of her lungs: “I’M PEEING”

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funny

Velcro Ponytail

Doctor goes in to clear her and comes out holding the board and laughing uncontrollably. The board had a velcro head block attachment and stuck to that was the woman's complete 8

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funny

Was cleaning up afte

Was cleaning up after a pt received 20 stitches to his leg. I asked what happened. He said he got in a car wreck and noticed the girl in the other car was screaming. So ran to the car and kicked out the window to get her out. She then opened the car door to show that she was not ...

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funny

While working triage

While working triage, I had a young guy came in handcuffed by police, pants were shredded from ass to ankle. When asked what brought him in the the ER, he proceeded to tell me that it was his 1 year anniversary with his girlfriend. He wanted to make it romantic, so the broke into Phipps Conservatory (a big beautiful greenhouse ...

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funny

X-Rays Cure

Female patient brought in after a minor accident in shopping mall parking lot. She was complaining of severe toe pain “to all her toes on both feet” so the EMT splinted both feet w

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funny

Young guy w CC of "

Young guy w CC of “Bump on rectum” I examine him and find a veritable briar patch of HPV all over the rectum and perineum(he’s in the fetal position with his back to me)..I tap him on the shoulder and he looks back at me.”Are u homosexual?”I ask,He thinks a moment and shakes his head “No”.I ponder this a moment, ...

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