While working triage, I had a young guy came in handcuffed by police, pants were shredded from ass to ankle. When asked what brought him in the the ER, he proceeded to tell me that it was his 1 year anniversary with his girlfriend. He wanted to make it romantic, so the broke into Phipps Conservatory (a big beautiful greenhouse in Pittsburgh where alot of people get married) to have sex in the flowers. Well they set off the silent alarms and the cops showed up with the dogs. Didn’t even get laid.