Home

 

Search

 

FAQ

 

Twitter

 

Best Visits

 

Worst Visits

 

Random

 

Login

 

Submit


Submit your story


Your nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Email notification ?

RN Nurse told me of a guy brought in by Ambulance. Seems he had severe burns to his thighs and backside but refused to give info on how it happened. His girlfriend was finally consulted and she said he liked to sit on the toilet and light m-80's then throw them in the pot and jump off. Guess he never heard of a short fuse.

#1332 (0) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (60) - I dunno, seems legit. (1)

Dumb 12YO male presents with pain, swelling and abrasions on penis. He took dad's Viagra and ended up with priapism. Told the hysterical mom that "swelling" was called an erection, and that abrasions on penis came from the brat whacking off too hard and thus the pain. Mom asked what do we give brat to get rid of erection. Told her about "detum" procedure with 16-gauge needle and 60cc syringe. Brat looked horrified, but mom said it will teach him a lesson. Jeez, people are stupid.

#1331 (0) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (64) - I dunno, seems legit. (6)

While in the ER, I heard an ambulance call to give report on a patient so I picked up the radio to get report. The paramedic said that he's transporting a 23 year old male that called 911 because he, "just wasn't feeling right." His chief complaint happened after the patient had smoked a bag of marijuana and then followed that by smoking a rock of crack... Any wonder why he "just wasn't feeling right?"

#1327 (0) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (59) - I dunno, seems legit. (4)

18 year old came into the ER, pumping blood out of an artery in her hand while chopping vegetables for her bf's valentine's day dinner. "Can't you just put a few stitches in it? I need to go home, he's going to make love to me tonight and I don't want to miss it. I didn't pass out, I just closed my eyes for a few minutes. I'll come back tomorrow, I promise."

#1326 (1) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (52) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

We had a frequent flyer drunk who was brought in by her husband when he just couldn't take her shenanigans anymore. This time she said she took a handful of Tylenol. As the tests were being run, I proceed to hand her a cup of charcoal (used to treat OD) to drink, when she turns to me making a face and says "shit, can't you at least put some sugar in it, this is the worst cup of coffee I have ever had" I had to hold back the laughs even though the whole nurse's station was in cracking up.

#1323 (0) Drunks - Get back to the waiting room (62) - I dunno, seems legit. (2)

A patient came in complaining of white vaginal discharge that only happens after she's done having sex with her boyfriend. When asked if her boyfriend ever wears condoms, she shook her head no.

#1321 (1) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (92) - I dunno, seems legit. (1)

I triaged a very large, very shy woman. I asked her what brought her in to the ER today and she just sat there. I said, "Dear if you don't tell me what's wrong, I won't know how to help you." Slowly and quietly she proceeds to tell me, "I slammed my boob in the trunk." I said, "I am going to have to take a look." The boob looked like a very large blueberry! She stated, "the trunk locked on it and I had to scream for my husband to unlock it." Priceless!!!

#1319 (1) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (40) - I dunno, seems legit. (50)

It was long long time ago. Patient presents to county hospital with severe headache while wearing cylinder hat. When triaged and it was his time to be examined, he was found dead with a knife in his head, hidden by cylinder hat. Sounds like he deserved the Darwin award...

#1314 (1) ER_Staff - Get back to the waiting room (52) - I dunno, seems legit. (32)

Inner city patient presents to ER with GSW. When asked about NPO status, he responds that he had McDonalds hamburger after been shot, since "last time you didn't allow me to eat before the surgery".

#1313 (0) ER_Staff - Get back to the waiting room (56) - I dunno, seems legit. (6)

A trauma-found naked (with one boot on) jumping on a ladies car(while she was in it) frost bit FOOT-then was tazed 6-7 times by PD...brought to the E.R. where we found he had rock salt on his penis

#1312 (0) That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (57) - I dunno, seems legit. (10)


Sites we enjoy
Dating Weird
My Mom is a FOB
My Dad is a FOB
Not Always Right
People of Wal-Mart
Facepalm

Members | Terms of use | About Us | Contact Us | RSS Feed | Advertise
Copyright © 2009 ERtards: Documenting the retards that visit the emergency room. .