Dispatched out at 0115 for “injured person.” Arrived to find a 16 y/o female who, in a low voice, said, “My boyfriend’s rubber just broke and I need a pregnancy test.”
Funniest chief complaint I ever heard in triage: “It hurts when I fart…”
Young woman comes in to ER saying she hasn’t had her period for 5 months. She denies being sexually active, but the urine test says otherwise. Shockingly it turns out she was preggers.
We got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene and she hands us an empty mint container saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.
A lady called 9-1-1 for hiccups. After all, she’d had them for half an hour! Oh, and she was pale & cool and so she wanted to be ‘treated for shock’ while we were there.
No, she did not get transported…