May 24, 2018
ERTard Team

I Can’t Hold Pressure

Ran a call on the truck not too long ago, 30 minutes to get to the call. Call was for “lacerations with profuse bleeding”. On scene, we find a woman who had been drinking, heavily, and was reaching for a clock that happened to be broken. She had cut her ring and pinky fingers on the broken clock, a lac that would need stitches later and she’s outside smoking with Fire on scene. FD had applied a “tourniquet” (roll gauze lightly wrapped) above the elbow. Best part, while en-route to the nearest facility, I hear her tell my partner in the back; “I’m glad I’ve got Medicaid. I can call Y’all for anything!” Also, my partner stopped the bleeding by telling the PT to hold the wounded hand above her head and hold pressure, PT responds with “I can’t hold pressure, I don’t have on gloves”

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  • Seems legit (1)
  • Kind of fishy (0)
  • Fake (0)

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Most Votes

Seems legit

  1. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (520)
  2. Are You Diabetic? (319)
  3. Hygiene First! (303)
  4. I'm pregnant, I think! (268)
  5. A dang hangnail? (209)
  6. Can you check these bumps? (176)
  7. A Shocking Ending (169)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (164)
  9. Help me, I'm homeless (159)
  10. Patient is in "stable" condition (152)
  11. Peeping Psych (149)
  12. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (147)
  13. Yummy! (142)
  14. I pooped and I can't get up! (133)
  15. It's a Mall Emergency! (130)
  16. Broken Rubber (121)
  17. Allergic to Tylenol (121)
  18. Morphine Doesn't Help (110)
  19. Yup, You're Preggers (109)
  20. Airplane vs. Nose (109)

Kind of fishy

  1. Patient's Boot (43)
  2. I'm pregnant, I think! (42)
  3. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (39)
  4. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (38)
  5. Patient is in "stable" condition (33)
  6. Cash or Credit? (31)
  7. Kentucky Jelly (30)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (25)
  9. Broken Rubber (23)
  10. Job Well Done (22)
  11. Airplane vs. Nose (21)
  12. Are You Diabetic? (20)
  13. Peeping Psych (18)
  14. Fresh Breath (18)
  15. Chief complaint: Pine Sol (17)
  16. Super Duper! (17)
  17. Bedpost Toy (17)
  18. Help me, I'm homeless (16)
  19. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (16)
  20. I need to get into my house! (16)

Fake

  1. Kentucky Jelly (606)
  2. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (564)
  3. Patient is in "stable" condition (250)
  4. When's Your Birthday? (108)
  5. Contraceptive Jelly (94)
  6. They Done Named Her (91)
  7. Spoon in the Ass (75)
  8. Job Well Done (72)
  9. Prostate Exam at 3AM (70)
  10. It Hurts When I Do This (64)
  11. Smells Like Burnt Asshole (64)
  12. My wife, uh, has worms (62)
  13. A New Boy Toy (56)
  14. I overheard a pt in (52)
  15. Magnets in the Floor (50)
  16. Alien Probe (50)
  17. Call it Schizophrenia (49)
  18. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (48)
  19. A pikie bloke comes (48)
  20. Bang for his Buck (47)