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Man checks in after getting drunk, climbing on top of his RV and promptly falling off, landing directly on his skull. A skull fracture and epidural brain bleed later, he earns himself an OR visit.

#1534 (0) Accidents - Get back to the waiting room (31) - I dunno, seems legit. (16)

c/c: "meat on anus" Discharge Dx: anal wart

#1533 (0) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (24) - I dunno, seems legit. (0)

Pt presents with lacerations and abrasions to his hands, knees and ankles. Turns out he was riding his bike while watching a rowing race next to him, with a beer in one hand and decided to clap while going down a hill. What upset him the most was he lost the contents of his beer.

#1531 (0) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (38) - I dunno, seems legit. (11)

Drunk female on a stretcher in front of our ward clerk who asked the nurse to keep her money safe and then proceeded to reach into her underwear and pul out a large wad of bills which the nurse took AFTER putting on a pair of gloves! Much laughter from the nurses' station.

#1528 (0) That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (49) - I dunno, seems legit. (0)

911 dispatch to syncope. Upon arrival a young couple tells us that they had been smoking marijuana for the first time, when he got light headed, and had to sit down. I thought that was the point. AMA form signed.

#1525 (0) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (57) - I dunno, seems legit. (0)

Love the patients who tell you they take "Latex" for fluid and have had "stool in their blood", and are very put out when you ask them in triage since they have had their stated problem for weeks or months, what made them come in tonight (usually around 3 am).

#1520 (0) That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (65) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

Female calls the ER at about 0600 with a question. She said that she and her boyfriend had sex and now they could not find the condom. She stated that they had "looked everywhere" and wanted to know if she should come to the ER or "wait to pee it out." After resisting the urge to tell her that if she "peed" it out she had more iasues than we could help her with, I advised her to call her PCP office when they opened and assured her she would be OK until then.

#1519 (0) Sex - Get back to the waiting room (59) - I dunno, seems legit. (10)

Call came through as male C/O pain and swelling in Left leg below knee ?Fx ankle. O/A Pt found sitting in chair alert. O/E No indication of swelling, Pt stated "Son, son, I think I've torn my metric arsehole". A famous footballer (soccer player) had recently been in the news with a Metatarsal injury.

#1516 (0) Complete_Idiots - Get back to the waiting room (68) - I dunno, seems legit. (11)

Pt admitted with DT's. A&Ox1, groggy and confused most of the night. Without warning stands up, just about loses his IV, walks straight to the mini fridge and wolfs down a sherbet I didn't know was there. Climbs back in bed like nothing happened. A&Ox1 for the rest of my shift. Best chuckle I've had in a long time.

#1515 (0) That_Was_Random - Get back to the waiting room (46) - I dunno, seems legit. (7)

An elderly man has rectal bleeding and calls his primary to schedule an appt. He doesn't tell them he's bleeding profusely. They schedule him for an appt in a month. He decides this is too long of a wait. What do you do with bleeding? Cauterize it. So he jams his wife's curling iron in his ass and plugs it in. Cooks his innards and passes out on the floor. EMS has to breakdown the door to get to him. Surgery pulled the curling iron out performed an AP resection and the guy lived.

#1513 (1) Funny - Get back to the waiting room (63) - I dunno, seems legit. (19)


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