Pt picked up by EMS outside a liquor store for ‘sick’ complaint. EMS found nothing other than intoxication as a complaint; no trauma/CP/NV/etc. At triage pt reports “water intoxication” and inability to walk while walking to the bathroom. When pt emerged he stated he had been cured and “just needed to pee”. He then went immediately to his bed and asked for food and a drink.
In ED, helping take off a drunk patient’s boots. He was obviously homeless and reeked. As I slipped his boot off I noticed a toe came off with it.
A woman presented to the ER for detox. She was intoxicated, tearful, and had packed a large duffel bag. About an hour into her medical clearance we noticed she kept drinking from a red Solo cup in her room. Yup she was planning on bringing her own box of wine to rehab.
Grandma came in via ambulance for stroke-like symptoms. Multiple worried and overbearing family members were hovering around staff believing grandma needed exclusive attention from the entire department. Turns out grandma had one too many glasses of wine.
A drunk trauma patient is brought in and as we cut off his clothes to check for other injuries, he makes it a point to warn everyone that he has a small penis.