Oct 30, 2012
ERtards

Smells Like Burnt Asshole

An elderly man has rectal bleeding and calls his primary to schedule an appointment but he leaves out the fact that he’s bleeding profusely. They schedule him for an appointment in a month and he decides this is too long of a wait and takes matters into his own hands. He inserts his wife’s curling iron in his rectum to cauterize the bleeding but instead passes out on the floor. EMS has to break down the door to get to him. Surgery pulled the curling iron out performed an AP resection and the guy lived.

What do you think of this Story?
  • Seems legit (42)
  • Kind of fishy (12)
  • Fake (64)

1 Comment

  • That’s your standard old school independent patient. Cut off a toe at work? Duct tape it and keep going.

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Most Votes

Seems legit

  1. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (520)
  2. Are You Diabetic? (319)
  3. Hygiene First! (303)
  4. I'm pregnant, I think! (268)
  5. A dang hangnail? (209)
  6. Can you check these bumps? (176)
  7. A Shocking Ending (169)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (164)
  9. Help me, I'm homeless (159)
  10. Patient is in "stable" condition (152)
  11. Peeping Psych (149)
  12. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (147)
  13. Yummy! (142)
  14. I pooped and I can't get up! (133)
  15. It's a Mall Emergency! (130)
  16. Broken Rubber (121)
  17. Allergic to Tylenol (121)
  18. Morphine Doesn't Help (110)
  19. Yup, You're Preggers (109)
  20. Airplane vs. Nose (109)

Kind of fishy

  1. Patient's Boot (43)
  2. I'm pregnant, I think! (42)
  3. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (39)
  4. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (38)
  5. Patient is in "stable" condition (33)
  6. Cash or Credit? (31)
  7. Kentucky Jelly (30)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (25)
  9. Broken Rubber (23)
  10. Job Well Done (22)
  11. Airplane vs. Nose (21)
  12. Are You Diabetic? (20)
  13. Peeping Psych (18)
  14. Fresh Breath (18)
  15. Chief complaint: Pine Sol (17)
  16. Super Duper! (17)
  17. Bedpost Toy (17)
  18. Help me, I'm homeless (16)
  19. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (16)
  20. I need to get into my house! (16)

Fake

  1. Kentucky Jelly (606)
  2. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (564)
  3. Patient is in "stable" condition (250)
  4. When's Your Birthday? (108)
  5. Contraceptive Jelly (94)
  6. They Done Named Her (91)
  7. Spoon in the Ass (75)
  8. Job Well Done (72)
  9. Prostate Exam at 3AM (70)
  10. It Hurts When I Do This (64)
  11. Smells Like Burnt Asshole (64)
  12. My wife, uh, has worms (62)
  13. A New Boy Toy (56)
  14. I overheard a pt in (52)
  15. Magnets in the Floor (50)
  16. Alien Probe (50)
  17. Call it Schizophrenia (49)
  18. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (48)
  19. A pikie bloke comes (48)
  20. Bang for his Buck (47)