Oct 1, 2012
ERtards

All Oiled Up

A woman came in with a complaint of pain with urination and suprapubic pain. Simple, right? Get a urine sample and send her on her way with instructions for UTI.

Patient: “Can you recommend a good gynecologist?”

Me: “This is a pretty simple UTI. I can refer you to one, but I don’t think you need a gynecologist.”

Patient: “I think I know why I keep getting UTIs, though, and a gynecologist needs to help me. Ever since I went through menopause, my husband and I need to use something for…(whispered)…lubrication, so we’ve been using gun oil.”

Me: (keeping a straight face and totally maintaining her integrity) “Have you ever heard of K-Y Jelly? You can get that at any store.”

Patient: “I’m afraid I’ll have a reaction to it though.”

Me: “But you weren’t afraid of having a reaction to gun oil????”

Discharge instructions: Stop using gun oil in your vagina.

What do you think of this Story?
  • Seems legit (10)
  • Kind of fishy (1)
  • Fake (0)

1 Comment

  • Probably true but could not resist the fishy comment. MY BAD

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Most Votes

Seems legit

  1. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (518)
  2. Are You Diabetic? (317)
  3. Hygiene First! (302)
  4. I'm pregnant, I think! (268)
  5. A dang hangnail? (209)
  6. Can you check these bumps? (175)
  7. A Shocking Ending (169)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (163)
  9. Help me, I'm homeless (158)
  10. Patient is in "stable" condition (151)
  11. Peeping Psych (148)
  12. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (145)
  13. Yummy! (141)
  14. I pooped and I can't get up! (133)
  15. It's a Mall Emergency! (130)
  16. Allergic to Tylenol (121)
  17. Broken Rubber (119)
  18. Morphine Doesn't Help (110)
  19. Yup, You're Preggers (108)
  20. Airplane vs. Nose (108)

Kind of fishy

  1. Patient's Boot (43)
  2. I'm pregnant, I think! (42)
  3. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (39)
  4. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (38)
  5. Patient is in "stable" condition (33)
  6. Cash or Credit? (31)
  7. Kentucky Jelly (30)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (25)
  9. Broken Rubber (23)
  10. Job Well Done (22)
  11. Airplane vs. Nose (21)
  12. Are You Diabetic? (20)
  13. Peeping Psych (18)
  14. Fresh Breath (18)
  15. Chief complaint: Pine Sol (17)
  16. Super Duper! (17)
  17. Bedpost Toy (17)
  18. Help me, I'm homeless (16)
  19. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (16)
  20. I need to get into my house! (16)

Fake

  1. Kentucky Jelly (605)
  2. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (561)
  3. Patient is in "stable" condition (250)
  4. When's Your Birthday? (107)
  5. Contraceptive Jelly (93)
  6. They Done Named Her (91)
  7. Spoon in the Ass (75)
  8. Job Well Done (71)
  9. Prostate Exam at 3AM (70)
  10. It Hurts When I Do This (64)
  11. Smells Like Burnt Asshole (64)
  12. My wife, uh, has worms (61)
  13. A New Boy Toy (55)
  14. I overheard a pt in (52)
  15. Magnets in the Floor (50)
  16. Alien Probe (50)
  17. Call it Schizophrenia (48)
  18. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (48)
  19. Bang for his Buck (47)
  20. A pikie bloke comes (47)