Dec 4, 2012
ERtards

A Bic in his Dick

We were transferring a pt between hospitals. He starts to tell me that while searching the internet he found a site that said you could pleasure yourself by sticking a Bic pen up your penis. Well, the pen got stuck “up there” so he takes a paperclip and bends it into a hook to fish it out. After that didn’t work, he decided to call 911. When we arrived to pick him up, we found out he was unable to sit down so we had to drive with him standing up holding onto the IV holders attached to our ceiling.

Along the way he states, “I’m staying off the internet for awhile.”

What do you think of this Story?
  • Seems legit (23)
  • Kind of fishy (4)
  • Fake (1)

2 Comments

  • Really? No ambulance service is going to transport a patient standing up!

  • Wonder about the standing up part, myself, but have seen one case of this where teenage boy inserted the innards of the Bic pen into his urethra where, of course, it became stuck. Boy was brought in to ED by mortified parents. He was completely obstructed and had to be taken to cysto lab for removal of the pen’s tip and tubing. I bet he’ll never do that again! I felt bad for his failed experiment, so I didn’t poke any fun at him. He was only my patient overnight. He went home the next morning.

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Most Votes

Seems legit

  1. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (520)
  2. Are You Diabetic? (319)
  3. Hygiene First! (303)
  4. I'm pregnant, I think! (268)
  5. A dang hangnail? (209)
  6. Can you check these bumps? (176)
  7. A Shocking Ending (169)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (164)
  9. Help me, I'm homeless (159)
  10. Patient is in "stable" condition (152)
  11. Peeping Psych (149)
  12. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (147)
  13. Yummy! (142)
  14. I pooped and I can't get up! (133)
  15. It's a Mall Emergency! (130)
  16. Broken Rubber (121)
  17. Allergic to Tylenol (121)
  18. Morphine Doesn't Help (110)
  19. Yup, You're Preggers (109)
  20. Airplane vs. Nose (109)

Kind of fishy

  1. Patient's Boot (43)
  2. I'm pregnant, I think! (42)
  3. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (39)
  4. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (38)
  5. Patient is in "stable" condition (33)
  6. Cash or Credit? (31)
  7. Kentucky Jelly (30)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (25)
  9. Broken Rubber (23)
  10. Job Well Done (22)
  11. Airplane vs. Nose (21)
  12. Are You Diabetic? (20)
  13. Peeping Psych (18)
  14. Fresh Breath (18)
  15. Chief complaint: Pine Sol (17)
  16. Super Duper! (17)
  17. Bedpost Toy (17)
  18. Help me, I'm homeless (16)
  19. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (16)
  20. I need to get into my house! (16)

Fake

  1. Kentucky Jelly (606)
  2. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (564)
  3. Patient is in "stable" condition (250)
  4. When's Your Birthday? (108)
  5. Contraceptive Jelly (94)
  6. They Done Named Her (91)
  7. Spoon in the Ass (75)
  8. Job Well Done (72)
  9. Prostate Exam at 3AM (70)
  10. It Hurts When I Do This (64)
  11. Smells Like Burnt Asshole (64)
  12. My wife, uh, has worms (62)
  13. A New Boy Toy (56)
  14. I overheard a pt in (52)
  15. Magnets in the Floor (50)
  16. Alien Probe (50)
  17. Call it Schizophrenia (49)
  18. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (48)
  19. A pikie bloke comes (48)
  20. Bang for his Buck (47)