complete idiots
Nappy Time
A mother came in carrying her two-year-old son, who was asleep during the assessment. Problem? The boy had a mosquito bite on his knee!
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Complete Idiots
The choices that make emergency-room staff stop and stare.
Page 10 of 14complete idiots
Need a Lift?
Had a patient who came in with a complaint of extreme headache and loss of consciousness.
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New Year's Day, hav
New Year’s Day, have broken the dept’s record for most seen in a day… 16 yr old presents with pimply BF to proclaim that she had just had sex and it still hurts, can we do anything for about it???
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Nice Nails
Patient come in through triage c/o finger pain. After assessing, found out all she had was a broken nail
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Night shift: 40 yr o
Night shift: 40 yr old Woman brought in by Ambulance. Why? Husband tried to wake her up middle of the night, rouseable but very very drowsy…. She takes Temazepam at night…. glad to see that the Temazepam helps… woman brought to waiting room to sleep, woman doesnt even want to be there…
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No Complaints
Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints when he states, “I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I hea
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No More Vegas
Mom's response when told her 15-year-old son had overdosed and was sitting in the ER,
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No Room to Park
Male patient was brought in by ambulance with an injured left knee he suffered from playing a sport. He was able to ambulate with minor difficulty and had little to no swelling.
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Nothin’ On My Skin
When offered a nicotine patch (since she can't go out to smoke), she refused, stating:
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"now are you g
"now are you guys open at the moment"? no emergencies only happen between the hours of nine to five!!!! and all us hospital workers work nit shifts for the FKING shear fun of it!!!
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Nurse ;" what
Nurse ;" what can I do for you?" Pt ;" I’m feeling lonely, so I came in for a chat"!! Honestly, it doesn’t get any better!!!
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Of course the only r
Of course the only response to questions about medical history of the elderly is " not had any operations and just take a pill for ‘me ticker’, and of course whilst youre undrressi
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Oh, yes, also one of
Oh, yes, also one of the best chief complaints was, and I quote, "foul odor coming from rectum." You can’t make this stuff up.
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ok, called to a nurs
ok, called to a nursing home for 40 something y/o female co red spot on top of foot. Get there to find pt taking belongings out to her car, finally get her back inside, remove slippers from both feet, and see corresponding red marks on top of both. Tried to explain that it was probably from the slippers rubbing…she was ...
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"Ok we will be
"Ok we will be putting you to sleep now", and the 17 year old panics and says "Mom MOM I have to tell you and dad something, Before I die, i smoked pot last night" I turn to the ki
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Okay here's one….
Okay here’s one….who else can say that they have been shown a crusty pair of undershorts belonging to girlfriend brought in by boyfriend wanting to know if said girlfriend was cheating on him…and could I identify the stains…..lol…oh and did I mention that he was in for a sore throat….lol
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Older lady calls 911
Older lady calls 911 and comes in from an ALF via ambulance with a c/o “I’m sick of all these people stealing my money” and wanted “a note from a doctor saying she could go home”. This would have been midly entertaining had every hospital in the downtown area not been on divert to us at the time.
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Older man comes in v
Older man comes in via ambulance with abd. pain. " How long have you had this pain?" Pt: "About 14 years" "why did you call the ambulance today after 14 years?’ Pt: Well, all the o
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On call omn Paediatr
On call omn Paediatric ED. Was asked to see three kids from same family. When i asked the problem, mum said ‘its raining’. Further questioning revealed that the children were bored indoors so mum thought she would bring the children in for a check-up. They left quickly…
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Once a few years ago
Once a few years ago, the triage nurse came into the acute area laughing her ass off. There was a guy (clearly mad) at the triage desk giving himself some sort of double fisted che
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Once during an overn
Once during an overnight shift, I had parents who brought their teenage daughter in at 4:00 AM requesting that we give her "truth serum" to find out where she had been that night.
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Once had a lady that
Once had a lady that called 911 for a tiny tiny laceration to the tip of her baby finger. Her family were fawning all over her like she was dying. At the end of it all she asked for a work excuse. I was so glad the doctor told her that unless she was a meat packer she was SOL.
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Once had an idiot wh
Once had an idiot who rang an ambulance and bring him to the ER because he had a mouth ulcer!! He then wanted transport home when I told him to leave cos he hadn’t brought any money with him!
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One day we had a Pt
One day we had a Pt that came into the ER complaining of having the flu and body aches for the past four days. Only problem was that he was still wearing the VIP wristband he got at the club last night. After he was asked how the club was he decided that he wasn’t that sick and left.
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One day when I was t
One day when I was triage Nurse I was approached by a rather annoyed gentleman who was complaining that the magazines in the A&E waiting room were not current and up to date.
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one guy walks in wit
one guy walks in with a camera and a picture of a burger at burger king and says "doc, i think i have been poisoned by this joint, i have pictures, i need to sue them..can u say fo
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One guy was brought
One guy was brought up by his mates, it was his stag do and he had drunk 10 pints and a four day dead goldfish. They were worried because he had been sick?!
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One night in the ER,
One night in the ER, a twenty-something male patient presented with "it just feels like there is a hat on my head". Our attending went to the locker room and got a hat. Then he wen
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one night we had a w
one night we had a woman bleeding out from stab wounds and another woman complained that she had been there 10 minutes before her and demanded to know why she hadn’t been seen yet as she had a bad migraine. I wanted to choke her out with the blood pressure cuff.
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one of my favourites
one of my favourites is the patient who called the police complaining that she thought she was losing her mind. they brought her in as an EDP (emotionally disturbed person) with a ton of luggage. We had to search her luggage and out comes a beautiful set of scales and a block of hash.
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One of the dumbest 9
One of the dumbest 9-1-1 calls ever was a lady who called because she "thinks" she "might" be choking on a potato chip. Correct me if I am wrong, but if you are choking YOU CANT CA
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Only Slightly Thirsty
24-year-old female in to ER c/o
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Only Water for Me, Please
30 y/o female, Hep C+, HIV+, hx heroin, ETOH, cocaine and amphetamine abuse comes in for pacemaker implant (go figure). Is worried we will ruin her breast implants with the pacer pocket.
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Only When I Take Ecstasy
25-year-old pt comes in early hours one weekend with panic attack after taking a couple of ecstasy tabs. We ask if he suffers from anxiety normally to which he replies, “No, only w
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Out of Sight, Out of Her Mind
Pt came in complaining of headaches and dizziness. Turns out she lost her glasses a few weeks earlier.
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Over the weekend, a
Over the weekend, a 18 year old girl called our ambulance because she was eating a campfire marshmellow and it was too warm. No burn – She didn’t even have a mark.
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overheard a conversa
overheard a conversation between a patient and nurse.. patient says to the nurse "What? Meth makes your heart race?" shocking.
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overheard in triage
overheard in triage where a woman was having her blood pressure checked "Is that going to tell if I’m pregnant?"
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Overheard last night
Overheard last night: pt: "Doctor – I can’t breathe through my mouth!" Doc: "OK – go and sit in the waiting room until it gets better."
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Overheard this today
Overheard this today: " how long will this f*ckin ambulance be ?" barked the patient. " about eighteen and a half foot sir" came the dry reply. I nearly wet myself laughing.
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