complete idiots
we had an ambo call
we had an ambo call out to a lady who claimed she had cut her finger off…she had broke a nail. just a waste of time and money.
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Complete Idiots
The choices that make emergency-room staff stop and stare.
Page 14 of 14complete idiots
we had this 20 somet
we had this 20 something woman come in with her new infant. her emergency was that the infant was crying.
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We have a payphone i
We have a payphone in our ER waiting room and patients regularly get pissed off at the wait, and will call 911 from the payphone to complain. The local cops always call to let us know and OF COURSE no one will ever fess up to making the call.
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We have patients get
We have patients get pissed off at the wait that go home, call 911, come back by ambulance and get sent straight back to the waiting room. fuc*ing idiots.do they think we don’t know what they just did?
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we have to "sa
we have to "save everybody" now – that’s why the human race has declined to be moronic – there’s no "natural selection" or "survival of the fittest" anymore…..so all those stupid p
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We provide taxi vouc
We provide taxi vouchers to patients who can’t get home and are TRULY in need. Our frequent flyers try and abuse this service on a daily basis. LEAVE it to the "professional patien
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We recently had an i
We recently had an irate family in the ED because their two year old had to wait 45 minutes to be evaluated for a hamster bite to the finger. My colleague handed them a band-aid an
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We were called for a
We were called for a frequent flyer constipated elderly female. The woman met us at the door with a half eaten loaf of bread "for you and the boys back at the firehouse." She grabb
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We were informed ove
We were informed over head from the comm center that a minor trauma was coming in by ambulance.Everyone gets the room ready and preps…I go out to get info on the pt and the medics inform me it’s a stubbed toe on a 15 yr old!!! And what’s worse it Dad called the ambulance!!!
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we're parked at the
we’re parked at the ED with several other units. a car drives up to us and an excited woman gets out. “my son’s having trouble breathing, should i call 911?” suspecting that i know where her son is, i ask “ma’am, where is your son?” she replies, “he’s in the back of the car.” trying not to roll my eyes, ...
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What happened to my toe?
PCSO (a type of British auxiliary police officer) calls over ambulance, presents c/o pain in foot, insists on examination.
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What I learned durin
What I learned during my last 12hr shift in the ER: When brought in with MI symptoms, it’s totally acceptable to ask the nurse to call your wife and have her bring you a cheeseburger because you missed lunch.
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what we need to do i
what we need to do is put valium and vicodin in the candy machine in the wait room and start airal spraying of prozac.
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When asked for her m
When asked for her medical allergies the other night, a patient told one of our nurses she was allergic to oxygen. Seriously.
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When I was a student
When I was a student on one of my first nights, a mid 40s woman runs in saying her son is in the car and she thinks he overdosed! Why did she think so? She found an empty toothpaste tube in his backpack. When the son explained that it was empty because he was pulling a prank on a friend ...
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When recently asking
When recently asking an alocholic patient if he was on any ‘medication or pills’ he returned quick as a flash ‘holsten pils mate!’
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While i was on place
While i was on placement we had a mum bring her kid in because she couldnt get her kid into the opticians and she thought he needed glasses. She couldnt understand why we couldnt give him a sight test!
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While in the ER, I h
While in the ER, I heard an ambulance call to give report on a patient so I picked up the radio to get report. The paramedic said that he’s transporting a 23 year old male that called 911 because he, “just wasn’t feeling right.” His chief complaint happened after the patient had smoked a bag of marijuana and then followed ...
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While working triage
While working triage one night, a lady brings a man to my desk, I ask "whats wrong tonight?" He says, "I GLUED QUARTERS OVER MY EYES, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO SEE THE WORLD ANYMORE"
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Whilst on reception
Whilst on reception I booked in a patient arriving via a 999 ambulance, who was complaining of head pain due to taking extacy, when asked when did he take the pill he replied two years ago. Have you had the pain all that time I asked, no it comes and goes, gets worse after I drink!!!! moron
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Why do people come i
Why do people come in to the ED for a toothache that they’ve had for 3 months? Why did it all of the sudden become an emergency?!?!?!?
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Why do people with w
Why do people with why do earaches think its an emergency!!!
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why is it that peopl
why is it that people who come in by ambulance always think they’re going to get seen quicker, and then when they get sent to the waiting room, they walk straight out of the dept? Some emergency??
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Why is that a person
Why is that a person comes in with Abd pain and the first thing out of their mouth is"can I have something to eat" why, yes you can just get out of my bed and walk your ass to McDe
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Will it Make Him Gay?
Father brings in newborn child who is crying and has signs of a fever. We decide a rectal thermometer would work best but before we use it, the father asks, “If you check his tempe
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Woman comes in yeste
Woman comes in yesterday demanding the H1N1 flu shot. I explained to her that the ER doesn’t give flu shots as it’s not an emergency and she could get one from her family doctor or a walk in clinic. After calling me an idiot she told me she just took a pregnancy test and it came out positive so it ...
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Woman in her 40's c
Woman in her 40’s comes in and says a mouse bit her. If that wasn’t stupid enough she was terrified that she was going to die because the mouse had ingested rat poison and she thought it would transfer.
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Working in an ER is
Working in an ER is like being in a room full of bouncy balls with a bunch of retards.
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Working triage on a
Working triage on a busy night in the ED. Patient comes up to the desk with the presenting complaint of “I can’t sleep and there is nothing to do at my house.” I stuck him in a corner hallway bed and he (not surprisingly) kind of got forgotten about for a couple of hours. By the time one of the ...
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Working with a colle
Working with a colleague, when assessing a patient who was brought by ambulance following having seizure my colleague asked any double vision as they had bumped their head on the way down, the patient then tapped the trolley side with their white walking stick and added the comment ‘I wish’.
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Would You Like a Sucker with Your Bandaid?
50-year-old female comes into ER complaining of laceration on hand. She had a Bandaid over her purported laceration and after removing it, there was a pinpoint mark, negative for current bleeding and negative sign of previous bleed.
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Yesterday at work ou
Yesterday at work our jaws dropped when we saw this GP referral of a 74 yr male: "5 year Hx of penile dysfunction, GP referral for further investigation…"
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Yesterday – chest wa
Yesterday – chest wall pain, since being banged repeatedly with camera round neck. 6 months ago. Never tried analgesia. Never visited own GP. No acute change. Came in because ‘I’m self employed and having a quiet week’.
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yesterday I had a fa
yesterday I had a father with a cold bring his 3 kids in , and they were all in the same room. He wanted them "checked" to make sure they didn’t have what he had, which was a cold.
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Yesterday I triaged
Yesterday I triaged a man who was "hit in hand by fish". Yes, that’s right, he had a fish thrown at his hand…..
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You know, the longer
You know, the longer I work as a nurse the more I understand why some people have the urge to kill. Last week I triaged a guy who came asking for help to quit smoking. He had just started smoking earlier that day and only had 6 cigarettes. He also asked if he was going to have a hard time ...
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Young female present
Young female presents to ER this evening C/O abdominal pain N/V. Can’t get out 2 full words without screaming and crying, but can say (with no difficulties) “they give me dilaudid for pain”. WOW!!! Imagine that! You can get all that out with no problems, but you can’t point to where your belly is hurting? Guess what she got??? Give ...
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Young female pt. com
Young female pt. comes in tonight – crying b/c she swallowed her tonsils and believes one to be stuck in her throat!
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You’re on Crack
A 30-something female came in with her boyfriend and said she had accidentally swallowed her crack pipe.
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Yup, You’re Preggers
Young woman comes in to ER saying she hasn't had her period for 5 months. She denies being sexually active, but the urine test says otherwise. Shockingly it turns out she was preggers.
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