Cash or Credit?
Female presents with vaginal bleeding. Imagine my surprise when I go to do the exam and see a VISA card lodged in her vagina.
First Dose of Pills
Patient comes in to ER complaining of STD symptoms for a month. He was seen and treated the previous month for same symptoms. Pt responds, “I only took the first dose of pills that I was given, I didn’t know I had to take the rest.”
New Year, New STD
A few days after New Year’s, a male comes in with a chief complaint that he doesn’t feel well and wants an STD check. He mutters, “Ugh…New Year’s Eve was really crazy.”
Penis Ring
Patient presents with “groin pain.” Turns out his wife put a ring around his penis and it got stuck. His wife was on the phone and refused to come in saying they were getting a divorce. We had to use wire clippers and metal saw to remove the ring, along with some flesh.
I Could Still Pee
Elderly male in ER with a steel cock ring stuck behind his scrotum and penis, both of which were swollen to four times their usual size. Nurse asks, “How long have you been like this?” Pt replied, “Three days.” Nurse then asked, “Why didn’t you come in sooner?” His answer, “I could still pee.”