Dispatched out at 0115 for “injured person.” Arrived to find a 16 y/o female who, in a low voice, said, “My boyfriend’s rubber just broke and I need a pregnancy test.”
Female presents with vaginal bleeding. Imagine my surprise when I go to do the exam and see a VISA card lodged in her vagina.
Patient comes in to ER complaining of STD symptoms for a month. He was seen and treated the previous month for same symptoms. Pt responds, “I only took the first dose of pills that I was given, I didn’t know I had to take the rest.”
A few days after New Year’s, a male comes in with a chief complaint that he doesn’t feel well and wants an STD check. He mutters, “Ugh…New Year’s Eve was really crazy.”
Patient presents with “groin pain.” Turns out his wife put a ring around his penis and it got stuck. His wife was on the phone and refused to come in saying they were getting a divorce. We had to use wire clippers and metal saw to remove the ring, along with some flesh.