Browsing articles in "Complete Idiots"
Jun 22, 2013
ERtards

Yup, You’re Preggers

Young woman comes in to ER saying she hasn’t had her period for 5 months. She denies being sexually active, but the urine test says otherwise. Shockingly it turns out she was preggers.

Jun 21, 2013
ERtards

Treated for Shock

A lady called 9-1-1 for hiccups. After all, she’d had them for half an hour! Oh, and she was pale & cool and so she wanted to be ‘treated for shock’ while we were there.

No, she did not get transported…

Jun 6, 2013
ERtards

Itchy Bumps

Male patient comes in to the ER, states, “I think I’m having an allergic reaction to this stuff. I had itchy bumps on my legs so I put it on.”  The patient put capsaicin creme (made with the same stuff that makes chili peppers hot) on the “itchy bumps”. The “itchy bumps” were scabies.

May 19, 2013
ERtards

Deja Vu in the Shower

We once had a woman call 911 because she “had deja vu in the shower and got really nervous”. That’s an emergency?

May 19, 2013
ERtards

Burning Pain in the Neck

Girl came in complaining of burning pain to her neck and shoulders. Turns out she used Icy-Hot rub and didn’t expect the sensation she got.

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Most Votes

Seems legit

  1. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (518)
  2. Are You Diabetic? (317)
  3. Hygiene First! (302)
  4. I'm pregnant, I think! (268)
  5. A dang hangnail? (209)
  6. Can you check these bumps? (175)
  7. A Shocking Ending (169)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (163)
  9. Help me, I'm homeless (158)
  10. Patient is in "stable" condition (151)
  11. Peeping Psych (148)
  12. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (144)
  13. Yummy! (141)
  14. I pooped and I can't get up! (132)
  15. It's a Mall Emergency! (129)
  16. Broken Rubber (119)
  17. Allergic to Tylenol (119)
  18. Morphine Doesn't Help (108)
  19. Yup, You're Preggers (107)
  20. Airplane vs. Nose (107)

Kind of fishy

  1. Patient's Boot (43)
  2. I'm pregnant, I think! (42)
  3. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (39)
  4. Hey, there is something in my scrotum! (38)
  5. Patient is in "stable" condition (33)
  6. Cash or Credit? (31)
  7. Kentucky Jelly (30)
  8. My wife, uh, has worms (25)
  9. Broken Rubber (23)
  10. Job Well Done (22)
  11. Airplane vs. Nose (21)
  12. Are You Diabetic? (20)
  13. Peeping Psych (18)
  14. Fresh Breath (18)
  15. Chief complaint: Pine Sol (17)
  16. Super Duper! (17)
  17. Bedpost Toy (17)
  18. Help me, I'm homeless (16)
  19. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (16)
  20. I need to get into my house! (16)

Fake

  1. Kentucky Jelly (605)
  2. Sorry, I had to mow the lawn (560)
  3. Patient is in "stable" condition (250)
  4. When's Your Birthday? (105)
  5. Contraceptive Jelly (93)
  6. They Done Named Her (90)
  7. Spoon in the Ass (75)
  8. Job Well Done (71)
  9. Prostate Exam at 3AM (70)
  10. It Hurts When I Do This (64)
  11. Smells Like Burnt Asshole (64)
  12. My wife, uh, has worms (60)
  13. A New Boy Toy (55)
  14. I overheard a pt in (52)
  15. Magnets in the Floor (50)
  16. Alien Probe (50)
  17. Call it Schizophrenia (48)
  18. Let the Lord Heal Your Baby (48)
  19. Bang for his Buck (47)
  20. A pikie bloke comes (45)